The Worst Of March Madness Commercials

The first weekend of March Madness has come and gone, which leaves us to think about what March Madness is really all about (besides gambling, and beer, and gambling, oh, and basketball): HATE! We hate Duke, we hate Kentucky, we hate Scottie Reynolds. We hate everything, except St. Mary’s, you Cinderella darlings, you. But most of all we hate CBS. The cutaways from close games, Greg Anthony and Seth Davis, and the ads for all their shitty, very shitty, programming. I’m looking at you Jon Cryer and Charlie Sheen!

Most of all though, I hate the commercials. If the Super Bowl is where commercials go to shine, then March Madness is certainly where commercials go to die. Seriously, they all sucked. That is why I present to you the most annoying commercial personalities that sprung about during March Madness:

5. Tom Izzo



The Ivan Brothers are fun, but Tom Izzo is really a horrible, horrible actor. His screen time should only be relegated to when he’s cursing out a Michigan State guard.

4. Ranjit and Chad



I know, let’s have a bunch of Indian guys talk about phones. And they have funny accents. And mustaches! That’s comedy gold. Ugh, how about no.

3. The UPS Cartoon Guy



I think the ad guys were trying to appeal to the hipster market. Long hair, check. Smugness, check. Art, check. The Postal Service, double check. All the guy needs to do is drink some Pabst Blue Ribbon and most of San Francisco would orgasm upon watching this ad.

2. Luke Wilson



I like Luke Wilson. He’s got a few good movies, and I’m not talking about Old School (see Idiocracy). But he seriously kind of let himself go. I’m not the first person to comment on his Jessica Simpson like weight gain, and I won’t be the last. And by the way, what the hell is N-C-A March Madness?! Didn’t anyone catch this.

1. That Douchebag From the McDonalds Commercials



Wow. This guy is an asshole. And yet, he’s so realistic!

I wish the commercial really went like this.

You haven’t had your cup of coffee yet? Here have some of mine… on your face!

(Splatters scalding coffee on his face, douchebag screams for help)

‘Can’t call the hospital, haven’t had my coffee yet.’