The Other California Teams March Madness Preview!

Since most, okay, all of our writers here at The Play in California are Cal alumni, you’ll no doubt notice that we talk about Cal Basketball a lot. I mean a lot. I MEAN A LOT. Regardless, we like to take pride in the fact that we’re a California sports blog and not a sports blog for Cal. We also like to take pride in the fact that even though we say we offer fair sports coverage for all of California, we in fact are only kidding ourselves. When you have a 50 hour work week and the only sports you can keep up with your own teams, it gets tough to cover everyone else. So lay off!

However, just because we enjoy watching our Cal Golden Bears so much doesn’t mean we can’t take some time to cover the other guys. Thus, with the tournament coming up in a mere two days, I, Cayceecal, would like to offer to you the Other California Teams March Madness Preview!

UCLA Bruins (I’m sure the bear shown above is some sort of pedophile)

Record: 25-8
Coach: Ben Howland
Key Players: Darren Collison (G), Josh Shipp (G), Alfred Aboya (F-C)

Overview: Everyone (ESPN, Yahoo, Sports Illustrated) has been saying that UCLA is primed for an upset at the hands of VCU this opening round, but I say fuck that. Not for any logical reason really. VCU does have the upset factor instilled them with a similar 11 over 6 upset two years ago against Duke, and they are a perimeter shooting offense, the type the UCLA can struggle with, but seriously man, UCLA is terribly underrated this year simply because they come from the Pac-10. For some reason, in the past few years, whenever UCLA is in it to win it, they’re primed for a good run. They’ve made it to the Final Four the past 3 years, what’s to stop them now? Nothing, other than the fact that they kind of suck, I guess. So they won’t make it to the Big Big Dance, but hey, they’re not getting downed by VCU either. Suck on that, Dan Wetzel.

Prediction: A second round loss at the hands of Villanova

USC Trojans (I had know idea JBL coached the Trojans)

Record: 22-10
Coach: Tim Floyd
Key Players: Taj Gibson (F), DeMar DeRozan (F), Lil Romen (G) – just kidding, he sucks

Overview: After their miracle run in the Pac-10, the USC Trojans some how slipped into the tournament much like how their namesake slips into…. uh, you get the joke. This year, USC has been kind of like the Zach Morris of the Pac-10. Like Morris, they have unlimited potential, yet their immature, lazy attitude gives them the perception of underachiever. Then, just like a special Saved By The Bell episode, they end up getting a 1500 on the SAT’S causing everyone (including an enraged Jessie Spano) left wondering what the fuck. Well guess what folks, USC is ready to play now, and in another extremely foolish guarantee that will no doubt cause me to lose next month’s rent, I’m saying they are Sweet 16 material. By the way, this blog is not responsible for any broken legs you may suffer from Johnny the Shark.

Prediction: A Sweet 16 loss to Kansas

CSU Northridge Matadors (This is the best I could get with a Google Image search. I shit you not)

Record: 17-13
Coach: Too Lazy to Wikipedia It
Key Players: Rob Haynes(G), Tremaine Townsend (F), Josh Jenkins (G)

Overview: CSU is a school from California. They are from Northridge. Their mascot is the Matador. Um, and they’re playing Memphis in the first round. Yup, that’s all that needs to be said about them.

Prediction: NCAA Champions. And when I say champion, I actually mean they will be embarrassed handily by the Memphis Tigers.

St. Mary’s Gaels (Get ready to dance!)
Recor- oh yeah…

….just remembered about the not making the tournament and getting screwed over by the selection committee thing. My bad.

So there you have it. Now that all the unimportant California schools are out of the way, get ready for a ten page, in-depth analysis (now with new charts and graphs!) of Cal’s tournament chances tomorrow. Told you we were fair and balanced.