Aaron Rodgers Writes His Own Letter To Brett Favre

A cold day in March, just after Brett Favre has announced his retirement. Aaron Rodgers sees his announcement on ESPN, and worried, decides to write to Brett…

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..

Dear Brett, I wrote you but you still ain’t callin,
I was worried about you when I saw you on TV, bawlin,
I left my cell, my home phone, and my MySpace at the bottom,
I even sent you two Facebook messages but you must’ve not got ‘em,
Maybe the internet sever just wasn’t workin' right,
Either that or I messed up, my computer skills ain’t to bright,
But anyways, fuck it man, how’s it going?
I know you’re in Mississippi, you bummed out because it ain’t snowing?
I was there at the NFC Champ game and I want to say I’m sorry,
It should have been you who had the big Super Bowl upset story.
I know you probably hear this everyday, but you’re the greatest,
Better than Brees, Manning, Brady, anyone from the generation of the latest.
I idolize you, you’ve taught me how to take a hit,
I saw that sack you took from Mike Rucker, and I gotta say, that was the shit.
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
Just to chat, truly yours your biggest fan, this is Aa-ron.

Two months past and Favre hints he may not be retired after all. Aaron writes a letter again...

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..

Dear Brett, you still ain’t called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain’t mad, I just think it’s FUCKED up when we don’t communicate, man,
If you didn’t wanna talk to me after the last practice,
You didn’t have to, but you could’ve at least talked to Ryan Grant.
He’s like my little brother man, he’s only a rookie in the league,
We waited to talk to you for in the blistering cold for you,
For four hours and you just said “I’m fatigued.”
That’s pretty shitty man, you’re his fucking hero,
He wants to be just like you man, you made him feel like a zero,
I ain’t that mad though, I just don’t like being lied to.
Remember when we played and Denver, and you said I’d start when you called it quits?
And how you said your word was legit?
See I’m just making sure that that’s how it’s going to be.
I want to continue the Brett Favre legacy.
You taught me everything, I’m glad to learn from the best.
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest.
When I worked with you, it was practically heaven,
My groupies are jealous cause I talk about you 24/7.
But they don’t know you like I know you Brett, no one does.
Being a quarterback in the NFL is really hard, huh cuz?
You gotta call me man, lemme know that you’re done,
Sincerely yours, Aa-ron, P.S.
We should get together for a run.

Aaron Rodgers discovers Brett has sent a letter of reinstatement to Roger Goodell. He is not happy and writes his last letter…

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..

Dear Mister I’m Too Good To Stay Retired,
Don’t you know I’m the new quarterback that Green Bay hired?
This is the last letter I ever send your ass,
First you retire, then you don’t, c’mon man, have some class.
So this is my cassette I’m sending you, I hope you hear it,
I hope you O D on your painkillers, pass out, and choke on your vomit,
I’ve waited three years to start, I don’t deserve it?
In the game against Dallas, I played nearly perfect.
Hey Brett, you know that movie Friday Night Lights
About that guy who shouldn’t have played but still went on to the field
And then he got an injury on his knee and it never healed?
That’s kind of how this is, you could stay off the field and continue to be healthy,
But now you’re playing, and you’re too old to dodge tackles and be stealthy,
I loved you Brett, we could’ve stayed civilized,
But now it’s my starting position that you’ve jeopardized.
You ruined it now, I hope you can’t sleep and you dream about it,
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't THROW without me
Shut up bitch, I’m trying to talk!
Hey Brett, that’s my agent in the trunk,
He tried to get me on Madden but I ain’t like you
Because I’m an NFL 2k guy, and I’m a starter in that game too.
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?

SPLASH! CAR SINKS INTO THE RIVER.

The next day…

Green Bay Management: So Brett, it looks like Aaron Rodgers went off the deep end and ran his car into a river. Doctor’s say he’s still intact, but his injuries are critical, and it looks like he won’t make it. All of the other guys are heading to the hospital because it looks like it might be the end. We’re all very devastated.

Brett Favre: I see. Yeah I’m pretty sad too……………………………………………………………….

Brett Favre begins to cry.

He wipes his tears and maintains his composure.

Brett: So………… now that there’s no QB, when do I get to start?

Anthony Kim, the New Asian, Err, American Hero (Even Though He Sports a Popped Collar)

This is Anthony Kim. Some of you may know him, and if you do, it’s probably because you’re Korean or you watch golf. Or maybe it’s a little bit of both. The other 99 percent of America probably would mistake him for someone in their engineering department, but that’s beside the point.

What many don’t know though is that he’s already being hailed as the next big thing. He certainly has the credentials. Already at the young age of 23, he has two PGA tour wins, the Wachovia Championship, finishing 16 under par, which is the lowest score in the tournament’s history. He also recently won the AT&T National, being the first American under 25 to win twice in one year since, guess who, the big cheese himself, Tiger Woods.

Naturally, being so young means that he lacks certain refinement that is often expected to come when one enters the old foggie world of golf. Kim’s trademark fashion statement is sporting a popped collar as he shreds up the green. Now, this being a California Sports Humor Blog and all, you’re probably wondering what this Kim guy has to do in the world of Philip Riverses and Kobe Bryants, but now it seems a little more clear, doesn’t it? Put it together, popped collar + Korean American… ahhhh, he’s from Los Angeles. Well actually, La Quinta, California, to be more precise, but whatever, even to me, it’s all the same.

Now personally, if you ask me, popped collars are usually the trademark of a douchebag. Throw in some sandals, spiked hair, tipped cap, and khaki shorts, maybe a bluetooth and livestrong bracelet, and you have one model douchebag. Anthony Kim is roughly around my age, so he’s pretty much an athlete from my generation. I hope the upper brow cake munching of the golf world don’t think that his clothing attire represents the millions of others who are our age, because then we’ll all look like douchebags. The tip of the cherry had to be that he’s from Southern California. Damnit. Observe photo A and you’ll see what I’m talking about:

Way to pigeonhole an area, Anthony. Hope fully he’s being ironic or something, but even if he is, then he’d just come off as a condescending Northern California hipster who reeks of negativity and unwanted sarcasm. You know, the type of person who listens to Silversun Pickups, wears horn rimmed glasses and vintage clothing they bought at a dollar store, thinks everything their doing is oh so clever, and likes to “shock” their circle of friends by doing something trendy because they think they’re being ironic. Yeah, way clever, about as clever as my asshole. Just picture you’re average person from the Marina District or Berkeley, or observe photo B:

No wonder NorCal and SoCal are painted as enemies, they both breed their own special kind of idiotic person.

Anyway, enough of this ranting, I’m starting to come off like Lewis Black. The point is that despite his fashion choices, I personally will be rooting for Anthony Kim for the main reason that he actually looks like he’s having fun when playing the game, which is the way that everyone should live their life. Just go out there and enjoy what you like to do, it’s the Anthony Kim way.

Skip Bayless and Stephen A Smith At the Movies

Photos via the Sports Hernia

Skip Bayless: Hi everyone, after last week’s very successful critique that Stephen and I did about the movie The Dark Knight, we decided that the film industry needed our expertise. After all, we analyze sports, so analyzing movies should be a piece of cake.

Stephen A. Smith: That’s right Skip. Many people may not know this, but I am a noted film buff, and I’m ready to take on any challenge that walks my way, whether it be a high art indie film or the next big summer block buster. Also, since Ebert and Roeper are calling it quits, I think it’s about time that Hollywood is ready for Smith and Bayless. So, what movie do we have on today’s show, Skip?

Skip: Now normally, most movie critics would start by reviewing this week’s upcoming attractions, but let me tell you this Stephen, I AM SO CONFIDENT about my movie reviewing abilities that I think we should both comment on a movie that isn’t going to be out until wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy in the future. Don’t you agree Stephen?

Stephen: Absolutely Skip, I was about to say the same thing. That’s why as a gift from us to you, the viewer, we’re going to bust out the big guns and tackle Transformers 2, which won’t be coming out to a theatre near you anytime soon. So Skip, what did you think of this movie?

Skip: Well to be blunt, Stephen, I THOUGHT IT WAS HORRENDOUS! The fact that they have robots talking and transforming into vehicles is absolutely astounding to me! What kind of knuckleheaded producer would allow this despicable, unmentionable piece of cinema trash hit the big screens of the United States? I hated this movie, and I’ll tell you why:
a) Robots can’t talk
b) I did not buy Megatron’s performance as the villain
c) Optimus Prime was mundane and completely clichéd as the hero of the movie
d) Arcee was not a good choice for the love interest

Stephen: First of all Skip, I have to say right here and now that all your arguments for not supporting this movie are utterly ridiculous, and let me tell you why. First of all you forgot ta suspend yourself in the world of Transformers. This is the type of movie that has action and thrills, but the talking robots are really what made this movie such a phenomenal film. You couldn’t ask for a better hero or villain than Megatron and Optimus Prime either.

Skip: But you know that you have to agree with me on that last one.

Stephen: That’s where you’re right Skip. For the role of the female transformer, you gotta get someone smokin’! I’m talking about a Thunderblast or a Roulette. Someone who is fine! Even throw a sista Transformer in there if you have to. You gotta give me that, Michael Bay, c’mon!

Skip: I did enjoy that Shia LeBeouf kid though. He reminds me of a young version of myself.

Stephen: You mean someone who’s a self absorbed, hypocritical jerk who has an ego that’s big enough to block out the sun?

Skip: Exactly.

Stephen: I guess a brotha can’t argue with that.

(For those of you who think this piece is completely arbitrary, check out this clip where Skip and Stephen review the Dark Knight, and you’ll see where I’m coming from)

The clip's is here at Defamer.

Youtube Sundays: Dark Knight Spoof

This is the best spoof I've seen of the Dark Knight, hands down. Damn even the spoof of this movie is awesome

Friday Sports Roundup

First off, let's congratulate the Golden State Warriors for re-signing the new face of their Franchise, Mr. Monta Ellis. Baron who? Mr. Ellis just got one of the highest raises in NBA history, making about $770,000 last year to making over $11 million next year.

Now let's hope the Warriors can re-sign Andris Biedrins as well. He wants money, and the Warriors are the only team who can give him the money, maybe roughly in the 6-year, $48 million range. However, sources said that some Russian teams are offering him more. Andris Biedrins, please don't pull a Josh Childress.


Happy 44th Birthday to our favorite ex-Giant Barry Bonds. He turned 44 yesterday, and his birthday present was FREEDOM, at least for now. The Giants celebrated for him with Matt Cain throwing a complete game 4-hit shutout, and the Giants beating the Nationals 1-0, proving that the Giants don't need Bonds' steroid-injected homers, if only it was for a couple games against one of the worst teams in baseball. With the Giants being the 4th worst team in baseball, they're able to sweep the ABSOLUTE worst teams, the Washington Nationals. The others, the San Diego Padres and the Seattle Mariners. Congratulations Giants, you're not the worst team...yet.


Jimmy Rollins, the reigning NL MVP, the Alameda, CA native. What's he doing on this blog? I put him here today because I believe he had the best excuse yesterday for making to his baseball game on time.

The Phillies are in a 3-team battle with the New York Mets and the Florida Marlins for 1st place in the NL East. Every game counts from now on. Rollins wasn't in the lineup because he was stuck in traffic. Way to take one for the team, Jimmy. I guess if you're the MVP, you can do whatever you want. That's why your team lost. That's why you get a ball in your face.


This coming Sunday, the San Jose Sabercats will once again become Arena Bowl Champions in Arena Bowl XXII. 4th time in 7 years or something like that. They're unstoppable. It doesn't matter who their opponents are. So don't forget, Sunday. Watch it, or don't, it doesn't matter. We already know the results. I'm too lazy to look up the time, or channel. Too bad.


L.A. Sparks vs. Detroit Shock in an all-out brawl. You women are crazy. Who do you think you are? First you dunk, now you fight. What's going on?! And suspensions? Slow down, WNBA, 4 entire games? That's ridiculous. Ron Artest only got suspended for like the entire season, but man, that's 4 HUUUUUUUUGE games here for what's her name from the Detroit Shock!! I am definitely SHOCKED!!!

That about does it for our Friday Sports Roundup. Peace out and have a safe weekend!

Mamma Mia: Josh Childress Retire in Greece

Mamma Mia...here you go again...my, my...Stanford really taught ya!

One of our favorite Stanford-bred hoopstars, the #1 Josh Childress, is packing his fro and shipping it to the tropical paradise of Skopelos Island in Greece, to play for the Olympiacos CFP basketball club.

What does the CFP stand for? None other than "Club of Fans of Piraeus". So Childress is playing for the Olympiacos Club of Fans of Piraeus. This club isn't just about basketball either. They also have football (soccer?), volleyball, water polo, swimming, and ATHLETICS. Pretty neat, huh? I learned all that from my good old reliable encyclopedia of Wikipedia.


So why would anyone jump from the NBA, the league that has the world's greatest basketball players, and land with a basketball club that's immersed with a bunch of small Euroleague teams?

For starters, Childress went to Stanford. He's one smart cookie. Besides winning the NBA championship and winning the MVP award, or even appearing in an All-Star game, he's done all he could in the NBA. I mean, he's already been in the NBA playoffs this past year with the Atlanta Hawks. The Boston Celtics won, but the Hawks ALMOST beat them in Game 7 in round 1. If that had happened, imagine the entire city of HOTlanta going crazy with a Hawks championship. So yeah, he's already had his moment in the NBA. But the one true dream that every NBA player loathes in their NBA career is to be on the cover of a video game. And look what Josh Childress accomplished:


What else, you ask? Was it the 3 years of guraranteed money of $20 million? Nope. He could've made more in the NBA. The only other reason Childress decided on this intelligent move was because he watched Mamma Mia over the weekend and absolutely FELL IN LOVE with Skopelos Island, the location where Mamma Mia was filmed. The singing, the dancing, the blue waters, the happiness....WHO COULD RESIST?!


Just look at that. Wow! Who wouldn't want to live there? Way to go, Josh. Your Stanford edu-mammamia-cation really came in handy. You're going to be a huuuuuuge star in Greece, with the BIGGEST fro the Greeks have ever seen. I'm soooooooo jealous of you right now, retiring at a young age in paradise. Take this little tour of the Skopelos Island if you need a little more convincing why everyone would want to be in Josh Childress' shoes right now.

A Pause in My Break: I Hate to Interrupt the Cal WR Lovefest

I hate to interrupt all the Cal receiving core fellating that has been going on around here, but I decided to come in and take a break from my break to give my two cents on how both of these young receivers are REALLY going to perform in the pros.

Now, I realize that my credentials as an NFL analyst aren’t particularly stellar, being that I never played football on a pro, college, high school, pop warner level. In fact the only experience I have as a receiver is when me and my friends would play pick up games and we ran out of positions, so I would have to play the dreaded blocker / tight end position. Hey, according to my stat counting, I recorded an average of 6 receiving yards and 0 YAC yards per game. Take that, Bubba Franks.

But seriously, it doesn’t take a football god, or even Dan Fouts, to figure out that DeSean Jackson is a little undersized. And when I say little, I mean really undersized. Currently, Jackson registers at a staggering 5’ 10’’ and a whopping 175 pounds. He’s the perfect size for a football player, if he was a kicker and his last name consisted of 20 different letters. Seriously, even Ace of Spades is bigger than that, and that’s not even a joke!

People will tell you that there have been some undersized receivers who have been successful in the NFL, namely Santana Moss, Deion Branch, and Donte Stallworth. Well I’ll tell you this, if you define success by the standards of Santana Moss, Deion Branch, and Donte Stallworth for the sake of DeSean, then I guess you’re also the type of Cal fan person who must think that Aaron Rodgers is going to be a stud considering he hasn’t started a game EVER and that he has had a season ending injury twice in his career. But besides those two minor facts, you think to yourself “well he’s still going to be good because!” I know someone who uses the same argument, but he’s only five.

The truth is Aaron Rodgers will be a mediocre to below average QB and DeSean Jackson will be an above average punt returner but a below average WR. He'll also probably get injured midway through the season, just like Aaron!

Others will say that DeSean has speed to burn corners every play. True, but there’s also something that many people over look. Hmm, what are people forgetting, what could it be? Oh yeah, the fact that DeSean is playing with men now! Men who are fast as if not faster and twice as big. Throw in some steroids, former Hurricanes, and Brian Urlacher, and it’s lights out for DJ.

The biggest argument I really hate though is when people make nonsensical arguments like “he’s a playmaker” or he has a “special dynamic.” These are football equivalents to office buzzwords. You know, they’re the type of things people say to make it look like they know what they’re talking about when, upon further examination, you realize they and you have know idea what they mean. Stuff like saying to “think out of the box.”

When people say those kinds of things, I just want to ask what the fuck they’re talking about. The same things can be said about football analysts who praised Mike Vick and Reggie Bush for bringing a new dynamic to the field. Oh, you mean someone who can run as a quarterback but can’t throw as a quarterback, or a guy who can return punts and catch well but as a running back can’t really run for shit? Why don’t you just insert LT in as quarterback (he already has a high career rating) or put in Plaxico Burress at RB? Hell, ESPN might just start calling you a person who thinks “outside the box.” The point is when people say DeSean is going to be good because he brings an X-Factor or something like that to the game, kindly kick them in the groin. Thanks.

I’m not even going to talk about Robert Jordon until he actually plays, and at that point this blog will either be non existent or he’ll be leading the 49ers to the Superbowl. I’m guessing it’s the first choice though.

So I hate to rain on my fellow commenter parades, but I just needed to address some things and point out that The Play In California isn’t all about brown nosing former and current Cal players. At least I’m not. That is all. Now if you excuse me, I’m going to continue my soul searching break, I was like this close to reaching nirvana.

Robert Jordan, We Have Faith!

So former Cal Wide Receiver stud Robert Jordan signed a free agent contract with the San Francisco 49ers on April 28, 2008. As I'm waiting anxiously to find out if he'll make the final roster, coming some time before regular season begins, I can't help but remember the times I watched him at Cal...

With Jordan, Hawkins, and Jackson together, they seemed the offensive powerhouse for Cal. And maybe Jordan didn't get much spotlight last season. I mean, it was the season where 'the 1 to watch' wasn't him. Being on the same team, with the same position as the Heisman candidate, can make it hard for you to shine.

And you know what, it's all good. It's tough luck, and maybe he's not as skilled as Desean Jackson, but I have complete faith that Jordan will surpass expectations of his game.

I think there's a similarity between Jordan and his cousin, Marshawn Lynch. They don't like the spotlight. They're all about Family First. They are team players. They are legit. They're taller than 6 ft and weigh more than 190 lbs unlike some kind of brash, cocky new Philadelphia Eagle that I know...

Not that I'm trying to instigate or anything, I'm just saying some players have skill and some players don't have an attitude problem. Oh, and some players won't get destroyed by a blindsided hit from Ray Lewis because, you know, they have the body to take it. Unfortunetly, other players (cough, the 1 to watch, cough) can only hope to be a poor man's Santana Moss.

But some players, like Robert Jordan, they're just hidden talents, diamond in the roughs if you will. And they are the ones who are going to lead their team to victory!

DeSean Jackson, 4 Years Baby!!

DeSean Jackson, chomping down on that yummy Philly Cheesesteak with some extra whiz, living the life, with a reported 4-year deal just in the nick of time before rookies meet for training camp. How much is the deal? It doesn't matter, he's set for life. Congratulations, dude!

Going from "The 1 To Watch" to "The 10 To Watch"

Just know your roots, Big D. Once a Golden Bear, always a Golden Bear. 5'10", 175 lbs speedster, you better break some NFL ankles in the upcoming season returning kicks for the Eagles. Don't forget to flash some style as the No. 3 slot receiver as well.

Making one-handed catches at Cal to one-handed catches in Philly.

This post is dedicated to you, DJ. Have a great season! I'm expecting you to fly like this in a real game:

YouTube Sundays: 2008 ESPYs Preview

NorCal vs. SoCal, NBA Style

Only in California could you have a battle between the northern part of the state and the southern part of the state. Just look at the Warriors and Clippers.

Baron goes down, Elton Brand goes byebye, Maggette goes up, Pietrus/Patrick O'Bryant/and most likely Barnes goes byebye, but now the guy whose name nobody can pronounce is pretty much going down to the Clippers:


Mr. I'm from England and I came over to play in the NBDL and now I get to play in the same house as Kobe Kelenna Azubuike.

What do the Warriors do to retaliate?


Steal Mr. multilingual I speak 5 different languages Ronny Turiaf from the Lakers! Read this nice story about him and his Caribbean roots by the Lakers, in which they thought Turiaf would be in LA for quite some time. The story is called, Ronny Turiaf: A Multicultural Warrior. Guess the Lakers already planned to let him go waaaaaaaay ahead of time back in 2007.

What are the Lakers going to do now? Well, some sources and rumors here and there are saying that they're the front runners to get who else but the very loving


Ron Artest: Tru Warier, who is his own agent. How fun is that!

It's the weekend, and I'm lazy, so let's just ponder over these NorCal/SoCal hateration dealings. Who's next? Is Thunder going to leave the Warriors and go down south? That would just be horrrrrrrible!!


Why can't we see the Dakotas battle it out with each other and let the Carolinas have their own civil war instead? Why us?! Why CALIFONIA!!!!!

Open Letter to Billy Beane, From A's Fan

Dear Mr. Billy Beane,

I LOVE YOU, MAN!

What a grrrrrreat move you did, trading away Joe Blanton for another 3 minor leaguers from the Philadelphia Phillies. At best, chubby Joe is only an average pitcher. Finished last year with a 14-10 record, and this year already an amazing 5-12 record. I mean, he makes a better electrical socket than a pitcher:


I googled and googled, (Do I get props for mentioning Google on a google-owned blog?) but I can only find 1 career highlight of Average Joe:


Sloppy seconds from Nick Swisher. What's wrong with you, Joe? Your girl in green was pretty hot, why not let HER li-li-li-lick you like a lollipop? Plus, didn't you learn anything from Billy Beane baby?


Why share someone when you can have two!! Maybe that's why Joe BLAN(der than a)TON(of shit) was traded. And that's why Beane is THE MAN. He may have sucked during his LONG baseball career,


Can't really see it, so click here for a clearer picture of how bad Billy Beane was. Basically, his best year was with the Twins, where he hit a whopping .213 with 3 homers and 15 RBIs in 80 gams (183 ABs). That says it all for his 6 year career. He did finish it off with the A's though. I would put up another picture of him in an actual Twins uniform with an ugly signature, but there's no point.

The point IS, the man is NOW a genius. The 3 players the A's got--Adrian Cardenas, Jost Outman, and Matt Spencer--were 3 of the Phillies top 30 prospects. Cardenas was #2 and Outman was making his way up. Spencer still needs to work on his game a bit, but under the A's management, all 3 will definitely be future All Stars.

In conclusion, Billy Beane is the GOD of all general managers:

Tampa Bay Rays - 2008 World Champions

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeop! You heard it right here, on The Play in CA. I, Mr. Ace of Spades, predict the Tampa Bay Rays will be the 2008 MLB World Champions. They will be the baseball version of the Boston Celtics, minus the history of success before the 50,000 years of suckiness.

Come on, the Rays have finished the season in last place in their division 11 of their 12 years of existence. That's pretty bad. In fact, Simon Cowell even says that's horrendous! Let's just give it to him this year. I think the entire state of Florida needs it. Even though the Marlins are surprisingly decent at times, the last place heroes of Tampa Bay still have more fans than the Marlins.

But for real, the Rays are pretty decent. 3 All Stars this year. That HAS to say something about the team, unlike other teams that get pity All Stars just so each team is equally represented. Yes I'm talking about you, Joakim Soria of the Kansas City Royals.


I mean, just look at the Rays, they work hard and play hard. Check out these moves. NONE of you can do that shiznat!


So there you have it, Tampa Bay Rays, World Champs, barely squeezing by the Boston Red Sox in the League Championship. I predict the Rays will be the Wild Card. Boston will actually win the East. Don't worry California fans, the Angels will win the West and stay in the playoffs for a short while before going back to Disneyland. Who cares about the AL Central, Ozzie Guillen already knows that no matter how good the White Sox are, the city still think they suck.

As for the NL...the Dodgers, they still have a chance. Phillies in the East because I like their red/blue hat:


Wild Card, whoever wants it. The Mets I guess, feel kinda bad for them. And finally, the Cubs will also make it to the World Series, but ultimately lose, because of that stupid freakin' why isn't he dead yet

STEVE F'IN BARTMAN!

It's the curse of the BART-MAN. Sucks to be a Cubs fan.

But most importantly, I really truly think the Rays will win because I believe that they deserve it. I have to give it to them, because they got die-hard fans like this:

Bow down to me now! Go Rays!
Call me at 555-5555 for a good time! xoxo
(*Hot sizzling sound fades out*)