Kanye West and Sports: An Analogy Part II

For those of you who missed out, last week I attended Kanye West's Glow in the Dark Tour, and it inspired me to start an entry comparing the Glow in the Dark tour artists (Kanye West, Rihanna, NERD, and Lupe Fiasco) and California athletes. Basically, we're looking at which athletes are most like the artists on the tour. Sorry I didn't finish it earlier, but I'm still recovering from the realization that Barry Zito is capable of winning maybe three games this entire season. In Triple-A.

Anyway, let's move along. Last time we started with comparing Lupe Fiasco to Monta Ellis. Now we move on to N.E.R.D. The way I see it, N.E.R.D. is most like the Oakland A's. People know who N.E.R.D. is, but most people can't name the members of the group. Same with the A's - people know they exist, but do you really know all the guys in their starting lineup? Also, N.E.R.D. isn't a great group, but they're not terrible either. Consistency is the name of the game, and you can say the same for the A's. Also, N.E.R.D. is led by Pharrell, and I've been told that he's hot.

In comparison, if you talk to any female A's fans and start a conversation about the team, by their fifth sentence the hotness of the A's players will have come up. On that note, my girlfriend would be mad at me if I didn't point out that Huston Street is the hottest of all the A's.


Let's just move on to Rihanna.
She was sort of a mystery to me because she didn't really seem to fit in with the rest of the concert. She wasn't bad, but she just seemed out of place. So Rihanna can best be represented by the San Jose Earthquakes.



I guess they're not that bad because they won the MLS cup in 2001 and 2003. But who the hell even knew that? Also, I didn't even realize that the team had moved from San Jose to Houston in 2005, and then they actually re-started the team in San Jose in 2007. I guess that doesn't necessarily make them out of place. But I think soccer is just out place in America in general. So for the purposes of this entry, I'll allow this analogy to stand. (On a side note, I'd like to thank Wikipedia for helping me with this part of the entry since I know nothing about the San Jose Earthquakes or the MLS in general. Also, thanks for the help on my history paper).

Finally, there's the main attraction: Kanye West.


He can be controversial ("George W. Bush doesn't care about black people") and people either love him or hate him, but it's hard to deny his talent. Therefore, Kanye is Barry Bonds. Barry is, of course, controversial (that whole steroids thing), and people either love him (Giants fans), or hate him (anyone not from San Francisco). Also, coincidentally (or not coincidentally) Kanye West has a song on the Graduation album called "Barry Bonds."


I realize that LA fans haven't gotten much love in this whole thing, so I offer up Kobe Bryant as another good Kanye comparison. Kobe is controversial (the rape case) and even though I am a Kobe-hater, I admit that he's a pretty good basketball player. Also, people either unconditionally love him:


or hate him:


So that's your Glow in the Dark Tour - California Athlete style. Maybe next year Barry Zito can be a part of it if a spot opens up on the tour for an overpaid, overrated, crappy rapper. Hopefully Nelly isn't too busy.

From Around the Blogs (Buzz Bissinger vs Bloggers) Edition:
What started it all [Deadspin]
Dan Shanoff's take [Dan Shanoff]
EDSBS's excellent thoughts [EDSBS]

I Told Myself I Wouldn't Cry On Draft Day

"I remember the happy days before this."

Hey San Francisco, what the hell? Where was the help I was supposed get? For the past year, all I've been hearing is Alex Smith can't do this, Alex Smith can't do that, left and right, to and fro, every freakin' day. It really bums me out when I turn on ESPN and I see Skip Bayless yammering on forever about how much I suck. It's a real confidence downgrade.

What people don't get though is it's not my fault. How the hell am I supposed to develop as a quarterback if I don't have anyone to develop with?? You really expect me to become the next Eli Manning with the receiving core that I've had in the past few years? Who has Eli had? Oh, I don't know, Plaxico Burress, Amani Toomer, Jeremy Shockey to name a few. Who do I have? Arnaz Battle, Bryant Johnson, Darrell Jackson. Darrell Jackson? What the fuck? A team of 4th graders playing a pick up game wouldn't want Darrell Jackson. I seriously vouched for Randy Moss last year, I don't know how that translated to a reject from the Seahawks.

Even once the season was over, I was really hoping that we'd pick up someone from the free agency. Too bad we got Isaac Bruce. I remember him, when I was in like fifth grade. Isn't he collecting social security?

Then the draft came around. "Now I'll finally get the receiver I need," I thought to myself. Maybe a Doucet or Hardy. Even maybe a DeSean Jackson. He's the kind of play maker I could use, with all that speed to burn corners. There I was in my living room, surrounded by all my friends and relatives, ready to hear the receiver that we'd be picking in the first round. I even had my Jerry Rice jersey on just to make the point.

…And with the 29th overall pick in the draft, the San Francisco 49ers select….. Kentwan Balmer?!?!

Man………………………………….

Another defensive guy? Wasn't P. Willis enough? I mean, he's practically a whole defensive unit by himself. He doesn't need help. You know who needs help…. Alex Smith needs help, that's who.

Then after that let down, I waited, and waited, and waited for a receiver to be picked. I saw so many great guys get taken. Devin Thomas, Eddie Royal, even that white guy from Kansas State, all to different teams, none to San Francisco. Just like that, Day 1 was over, no receivers for me. As the day died down and I became more sober to the fact I would be WR-less, I went into my room and played my favorite Dashboard Confessionals song. It's the only thing that helps me get through days like these.

Day 2 rolled around and we finally got some guy from Virginia Tech in the sixth round.

My analysis: six rounds too late. Sigh. Now it's Tuesday and Alex Smith is blue. Coach Martz has me looking over our draft picks for a team meeting tomorrow. He tries to cheer me up, saying he'll make things better, but he doesn't know. He doesn't know the burden of being Alex Smith, no one does. The 49ers got me all excited and filled with hope, only to smash my heart like and leave me drowning in a pool of my own tears. Sniffle.

It's okay Alex, don't cry. Be a big boy. Nothing can make this day worse, right?

Goes to front page of Deadspin.

Man……………



Puts on Boys Don't Cry by The Cure

If only it were true Robert.

From Around the Blogs:
Suck it EA Sports NCAA Football gates [Loser With Socks]
Muhahaha, the Hawks are this year's GS Warriors [Hawks Basketblog]
For the ladies from the ladies: Jared Allen [Ladies...]

Well That Was Dissapointing, Zito

Sunny Monday afternoon in the beautiful city of San Francisco. Barry Zito pitched yesterday. He blew six runs in one inning. Work harder to make sure that it doesn't happen again? Heck no! He has no time to practice, not with this California heat coming on.


That's better. Believe me....it'll help him. There's nothing that will help him focus more on baseball than not thinking about baseball. It makes total sense.

This has been another episode broadcast live from Planet Zito. Next episode, Barry shakes off a 14 run inning with some Guitar Hero. Either that or a pity date from Alyssa Milano.

The end.

**Update: Planet Zito has now moved to the bullpen. More time to surf and play Guitar Hero, err I mean fix his game. (Being a Giants fan, hopefully it helps...keyword, hopefully.)

From Around the Blogs:
An open letter to Mr. Zito [Apples and Moustaches]
Pat Cowan out for season [Biz of Football]
About errors and ERA [Cobra Brigade]

The Curse of Spaulding Field

On Thursday night, when the UCLA Bruins took the field for practice on Spaulding Field in Westwood, this is what their depth chart at quarterback looked like:

#1 Patrick Cowan
#2 Ben Olson
#3 ?
#4 ?
#5 ?

After about 10 minutes of practice, it looked like this

#1 ?
#2 ?
#3 ?

That's because in the span of around five minutes, Patrick Cowan tore his ACL and Ben Olson broke a bone in his foot. I have it on good authority that Cowan is done for the year and it's already out in the press that Olson is out for 2-3 months. Let's count the number of football games the rest of UCLA's QB's have played in Division I, shall we?

1...

2...

Whoops. Overcounted. It's 1.

It really sucks for Ben Olson, because obviously the dude is made of glass. His devastating injury to games completed ratio is now at 3 games to 5. I don't think the guy can stand at a urinal without at LEAST tweaking an ACL.

But you know what must be the shocking part about all this? That most diehard bruin fans (like me), aren't shocked at all. Nope, this is pretty much standard fare for us. So much so that my former roommate, upon hearing the news, started LAUGHING. Personally, I didn't think it was funny. I'm a pretty dedicated fan. I run a friggin' ucla blog. I didn't laugh, I had a heart palpitation.

So it all started here:



About 3 weeks after Ben Olson released the ball, an Arizona DT took his knee out. Olson never played again in the 06 season.

The next year, in UCLA's 3rd game, Olson (and the rest of the UCLA team) got whallopped and sat out a game with a concussion. Cowan, in his stead, took the reins and performed quite admirably in his first game. And tore his MCL.

Olson came in the next game against Oregon State. Much to the surprise of UCLA fans, Olson wasn't shot or shanked and was able to complete a game.
The confusion over why Olson wasn't injured in the Oregon State lingered for the entire week before the Notre Dame game.

Then, Olson tore his LCL. You're not an idiot: I didn't know it existed either. You should try watching the UCLA QB's practice for a week. Afterwards, you should be able to teach sports medicine at an accredited university.

So, Olson's out. Who comes in? Some white dude. Yeah, the other two guys are white, but they weren't named "McLeod Bethel-Thompson." Wow. Bethel-Thompson, a redshirt freshman, had quite a learning curve to overcome. It was so steep that, in fact, he didn't realize he was completing passes to the OTHER blue and gold team on the field until halfway through the 4th quarter. Bummer.

But it was all good, cuz Patrick Cowan came back next week against Cal! And whooped em! And survived the whole game against Washington State! Again, UCLA fans were perplexed. TWO entire games without a QB injury? What was going on???

Again, the confusion ended the next game. Cowan's knee got screwed up all over again against Arizona. Osaar Rashaan comes in and performs admirably. Not as a QB as much as a scrambler, but hey when you're at 4th string you'll take it. Osaar himself completed a game against Arizona State, but was pulled after the first half in the next game against Oregon in favor of...BEN OLSON. He's back! and he finished the second half! Time to party!

Yet, Cowan was named the starter against USC. And after UCLA got its ass kicked, he came out in the 3rd quarter. limping. This time, it was his knee. Hey! what a shocker! Dorrell gets fired. Olson is set to start for the BYU game.

But he tweaks his knee in practice. UCLA loses to BYU. Neuheisel gets hired, hoping not to get the same kind of bad luck that Karl Dorrell got in his last year as UCLA's head coach.

Well, so much for that.

Al Davis's Super Secret Draft Notes

The NFL war room is the most sacred of places among football during the draft. Lord knows what the hell goes on behind closed doors (unless you’re in the war room of Mike Holmgren, then it probably involves a chili burger). For every other team in the draft, it is a place of secrecy where coaches and owners alike analyze the living daylights out of players who will most likely fail their team either through poor play or a sex filled booze cruise.

Fortunately for us and our viewing public, we’re like this (does a fist pump) with Al Davis. We befriended the multi millionaire owner of the Raiders at the annual Raider Christmas fundraiser for the Oakland children’s hospital, which was really a ploy for him to literally suck the youth out of children (he has a special youth sucking vacuum). He enjoys our posts about Marty Schottenheimer because it reminds him why he never hired that loser.

Al was kind enough to lend us a copy of his draft day notes, giving us a small glimpse into the inner workings of a football mastermind:

- McFadden is number one priority, fuck Justin Fargas and his humanity.
- Draft Matt Ryan to piss off Kansas City. Proceed to cut his hand off and send to Herman Edwards via Raider Mail.
- Create Raider Mail.
- Trade newly acquired Javon Walker to Jets for 6th pick.
- Draft Chris Long with 6th pick.
- Sign Long’s contract on Howie’s flat top.
- Make realization we drafted the wrong Long.
- Renegotiate trade with Jets, giving them our 2nd round pick for Walker, Chad Pennington, and a future 1st round pick (Jets naturally will think this is a sweet deal).
- Join with Jet fans as they pelt their team with feces.
- Watch Lions take Jerod Mayo….. just kidding. Laugh as they draft a random wide receiver while Matt Millen bold proclaims his genius.
- Plant camera in Belicheck’s duffel bag. Send incriminating photos to The Dirty.com
- Partake interview with ESPN. Ask Chris Berman how he retains his youthful looks. Learn new soul sucking technique.
- Take 30 min break to watch Dora the Explorer.


- Lunch with Darth Vader. Discuss topics such as evil, greed, and Rock of Love II.
- Ask Janikowski to nail a 45 yard field goal as if his job depended on it. Janikowski misses. Draft new kicker. Shoot Janikowski.
- Hire “cleaner”
- Tell Mel Kiper his draft predictions were very accurate. Watch him fellate himself.
- Hint to ESPN about moving the Raiders to Los Angeles.
- Move team to Los Angeles.
- 2 hours later, move team back to Oakland, raise ticket prices 25 percent.
- Appear on the NFL network. Ask them to computer enhance his age, much like they did to Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan in X-Men: The Last Stand. Smile with glee that people now think you’re 98.

I'll also be writing a weekly segment over at the Bears Necessity. You can check it out here.

Worst Father-Son Tandems in Sports

I’m sure you’ve all been hearing the hoopla about Chris Long as we approach D-Day (Draft Day for the NFL, Dooms Day for Jet fans). You know the story, Chris Long, the stellar defensive end of Virginia seems to be the heir apparent of the Defensive kingdom, handed to him by this guy:

Adding more to the dramarama (click the link. God that’s such a sick song), is the possibility that Chris Long may go to the Raiders, especially since Jake Long is out of the mix. The media seem to be having a field day with this possibility, making a bunch of noise about Chris playing for Howie’s old boss, Big Not-So Gay Al Davis. Supposedly there’s bad blood between Howie and Al, but when I googled it, I failed to find any credible article describing the said blood. Figures.

I personally think the Raiders will have the opportunity to draft Darren McFadden by the time it is their pick. This leaves Justin Fargas wondering “what the fuck, man?”

Regardless of where Chris Long ends up, he no doubt has the tough task of trying to escape the shadow of his father. That’s no easy job. C’mon, we’re talking about Howie Long here, star of Broken Arrow, endorser of flat tops, husband of Teri Hatcher.

Not that it hasn’t been done before. Obviously, the Manning brothers have proven that their careers will skyrocket above daddy’s. Barry Bonds also seems to be living up to his dad’s name (minus the steroids thing). Yet, for every great father son combo, there also seem to be bad ones. People have already made lists about great father son teams in the past, but not many have listed the not so great ones. Here are some famous examples of offspring who may not have inherited daddy’s genes. For every Michael Corleone, there’s also a Fredo.

Bill Walton – Luke Walton


It’s not that Luke isn’t a great role player; he’s just no Bill Walton. Judging from this year, with his injuries and inconsistency, for the next few years, he’ll be known as Kobe Bryant’s personal towel boy and cheerleader. Maybe the experience will humble him a bit, because it seems he did inherit his father’s famous flair. I remember one particular incident when Luke Walton was naming his five favorite players in a little snippet during an ESPN broadcast. Bill was number 2, falling sharply behind Luke’s all time favorite player…..himself. Bill, who was commentating, retorted “I’ve failed as a father.” Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Don Shula – Dave Shula


One is arguably one of the greatest coaches in all of professional football. Don is the all time leader in victories and led his famous ’72 Dolphins to the NFL’s only perfect season (and he didn’t even need a camera to do it!). Dave on the other hand played one year as a wide receiver for the Baltimore Colts, making him kind of like Eric Crouch. He did slowly compile a coaching portfolio, and when he finally got a head coaching job he truly shined, leading the Bengals to a 19-53 record over four years. Jesus Christ, how did he last so long? He must have been Matt Millen’s guru on keeping your job despite their incompetence.

Archie Manning – Cooper Manning


Now before the board of spinal stenosis sends me an angry email or two, hear me out. It’s not that Cooper wasn’t a great athlete. I’m pretty sure had he not gotten the spinal disease, he’d probably have an illustrious career (he could have been Wayne Cherbet before there was a Wayne Cherbet). It’s just that this is an analysis of offspring who didn’t thrive as much as their dads and Cooper clearly didn’t. Don’t feel bad though, he must have a pretty kick ass life. His two younger brothers won the Super Bowl, but as an older brother, he has the right to kick their asses whenever they want. I’m sure having the ability to lay a beat down on the Manning Brothers is the fantasy of several overweight NFL fans.

Nolan Ryan – Reid and Reese Ryan

Reid and Reese both wanted to follow in their dad’s footsteps, as they were both pitchers in the amateurs. Too bad nobody told them they kind of sucked. Oh wait, somebody did, because they’re not pitching now. Instead, they help run the minor league Round Rock Express in Texas. Oh, the team is also owned by dad also. What a fortunate coincidence!

Bruce Jenner – Brody Jenner


Before Bruce Jenner was known for step fathering Kim Kardashian, he was practically an American hero. He won gold in the decathlon in 1976 and gained the reputation as an all around athlete. Surely he could do no wrong. Then he had Brody Jenner.

Ahhhh, Brody Jenner. The model douchebag for all young aspiring douchebags in America. He certainly has all the credentials. Lives in Malibu? Check. Dated Nicole Richie? Check. Former “model”? Check. Living off daddy’s riches? Double check. Certainly Jenner has built up quite his douchebag resume. Why, he’s right up there in the big leagues, next to Mystery the Pick Up Artist and Zach Braff. Congrats Brody, it truly is an honor!

Of course all of these athletes pale in comparison to a historic apple that fell FAR from the tree…

Josef Stalin - Yakov Dzhugashvili


I’m sure I don’t need to introduce who Josef Stalin. Yakov on the other hand just wasn’t skilled in anything (though he may not have inherited Josef's penchant for evil). Being the loving father that cold Joe was, he naturally drove Yakov to suicide. When the suicide attempt failed, all Josef said was “he can’t even do that right.” Wow. That’s all I have to say. Wow.

UPDATE: Because I can only write so much in one post without boring all you readers, please feel free to add any father son teams I failed to mention, as some people have already done in the comments. Have fun!

From Around the Blogs:
Brett Favre is on the Madden Cover, Aaron Rodgers most likely to inherit the curse [WIth Leather]
A look at the Niners O-line [49ers Gab]
NFL Draft Diary [EMQB]

Dallas is about to MAKE IT RAIN!!!!!

"Damn, I really thought he was serious about this wrestling thing."

Please note that this post has nothing to do with California. U12 was just overfilled with commentary about Pacman that he needed an outlet to spill the beans.

Pacman Jones was traded to the Cowboys today, leaving America with mixed emotions. Some think this is a stupid move for Dallas; as Pacman will never mature. Some think this is a brilliant move; since Jerry Jones was able to control crackhead Michael Irvin and Leon Lett and Deion Sanders and …well you get the idea. And finally, there are those who think that Barack Obama needs to stop shouting out stolen catch phrases he found off the internet when giving speeches.

In the end, the Pacman’s addition will prove to be another risky success for the Cowboys. His presence will be felt more off the field then on; and surprisingly in a good way. By trading for Pacman, the Cowboys have admitted that they blew it with Roy Williams. They got too excited when he laid out receivers for his first 2 years and forgot to pay attention to the number of touchdowns he gave up, the number of white tight ends that juked him, and the number of sheer mis-reads he’s made over his career in the NFL. Well, hopefully the signing of Jones puts an end to that. Yes, Jones is not a safety, but he is a lockdown corner. And by signing Jones, it should mean that Dallas is concerned with getting beat by the passing game; thus scrutinizing the play of those who can’t defend. And since they acquired Ken Hamlin a year back, maybe this is the final piece before they put Roy Williams on the bench. At least that’s what I hope.

With Pacman Jones strengthening the other corner position, Dallas can be more aggressive up front. Maybe now they won’t give up 5 yards a carry to every team with an adequate running game. The 3-4 scheme the Cowboys run is beautiful when the team can blitz and put 8 men in the box; and I truly believe Pacman’s addition can allow the Cowboys to do just that.

With Terry Glenn coming back as well, Marion Barber being the sole running back, and Tony Romo one year more mature, Dallas looks just as promising as it was last year, and definitely could win it all. Then again, these are the same Cowboys that dropped a game winning completion to the Giants, allowing a questionable team to pull off one of the biggest upsets in NFL history…the same Cowboys that botched a chip shot field goal in the playoffs in the same year that they allowed the Redskins to block a game ending field goal, recover, accept a face mask penalty, line up and kick the game winning field goal…all in 15 seconds of game time.

Now onto the more important Pacman news…here’s what we think the “welcome to Dallas” party will be like.

100 strippers, 1 million dollars in ‘Ones’, Deion Sanders, Michael Irvin, Larry Allen, Roy Williams, Terrell Owens, and Pacman Jones in the VIP section. Jerry Jones will show up to get a lapdance and to slip a message to Pacman saying “shape up or I’ll kill you…Texas style”. Paul Wall will be outside in a candy coated ride holding up some purple drank. Mike Jones will still be trying to get the DJ to play his track, all the while yelling MIKE JONESSSS (please stop already). Mark Cuban will be in the corner plotting a scheme to have Jason Kidd beaten up. Jason Kidd will be beating his wife (ouch). Whoever the hell owns the Texas Rangers will also be in the club, throwing the 50 bucks he got for selling the Rangers at a single stripper; who eventually rejects his plea to have a lapdance. Jessica Simpson will be there too; no, not stripping, but trying to find Tony Romo, who actually is at Carrie Underwood’s pad. Ah, Dallas will definitely be rockin’ that night.

Take that Jessica!

From Around the Blogs:
Boston Fans Are Cool.....Ha! [The Hater Nation]
Big Daddy Drew's draft Jambaroo [Deadspin]
Fantasy baseball notes [Fake Teams]

Sharks Win in 7 Games, Should Have Been 4

"Yes! We proved that our 2 seed is justified, kind of."

I’m no watcher of hockey, I think I have made this very clear with a total of only like 5 hockey posts. I think the last time I saw a hockey game was when I saw like 10 minutes of Mystery, Alaska which was showing on TNT. Even when I do post something about hockey, it’s usually pretty mediocre, unless of course I’m using San Jose’s favorite mascot to encourage kids to read.

Nonetheless, it is the NHL playoffs, I am from San Jose, and the Sharks did play a rather crucial game yesterday in the Silicon Valley. Thus, enter KCCal the bandwagon. Hey, I liked hockey okay, when I was a kid. I mean I saw the whole Mighty Ducks trilogy, even the last movie which was extremely shitty. You try sitting through all three movies! Only a real hockey fan would do that.

Coming into tonight’s game, I was actually concerned. My limited NHL knowledge told me that the Flame’s Joey I was ready to tear it up on the Sharks. Plus, the last game, I noticed the Sharks did look rather terrible. And by “noticed” I mean I saw the score update on ESPN and noticed that had lost. In either case, the Flames actually had the Sharks on their heals, and I was scared.

Then the Sharks took a huge dump all over the Flames.

Not that I’m surprised. The Sharks should have been doing that the first four games instead of taking it to seven. Four goals in one period is pretty sweet though. That pretty much sums up the game. Jeremy Roenick took a whiz and doused the Flames with his two goals. By the time it was the 3rd period, the game was already over.

Calgary did score a goal in the 3rd period, but that fact was pretty much irrelevant by the half of the 2nd period.

What was surprising was that it went all the way to game 7. As I recall from several “credible” media outlets, this was supposed to be a warm up game. Maybe the Sharks just wanted to give their fans something to go crazy about. If they had finished the series in four, Sharks fans would have only had the luxury of attending 2 home games. Instead, they squeaked it out to 4 home games, giving ticket holders their money’s worth. Talk about giving back to their fans!

Some of you note that there was another California hockey team in the playoff mix.

Why wasn’t there a post about them? When will there a be a post about them? When we get someone who actually watches hockey, that’s when. Until then, I’ll be looking forward to things that will cover that time span like Desean Jackson getting drafted, the Cubs winning the World Series, the invention of the hoverboard, and my funeral. Besides, we don’t post anything about losers. I stand corrected.

Big ups to Calgary for hanging tough. Actually, on second thought, forget that. They are from Canada after all.

From Around the Blogs:
Tim Tebow is the next Romo when it comes to smiles [Busted Coverage]
Where have all the African American pitchers gone? [Sports Tsar]
Eli Manning becomes and man, proves he is not gay [KSK]

Kanye West and Basketball, An Analogy: Part 1

In the time that has passed since my last entry back in mid-March, Kansas won the NCAA championship, pretty much anyone who was able to declared for the draft, the baseball season started, the Warriors failed to make it into the playoffs, the NBA playoffs started, and Miguel Tejada aged two years.

Anyway, I'm back now. As you may have figured out, I've been sort of busy, but on Friday night I attended Kanye West's Glow in the Dark tour out at Arco Arena. The show was awesome, and I got to thinking - which California athletes are most like the artists on the tour? It was sort of a random thought, but hey - it's given me this entry so I'm okay with it.

This post is actually doubly inspired by something I heard Gary Radnich say on the radio today. By now, people have heard about Deshaun Stevenson saying that LeBron James is overrated; and they also know that LeBron is now up 2-0 on the Wiz. He then made an analogy comparing LeBron to Jay-Z, and Deshaun to Soulja Boy. Probably a fair comparison. LeBron is the king, and Deshaun is a one hit wonder.

On a completely separate note, when I was walking out of the bathroom at Arco, I saw Sacramento Kings forward Francisco Garcia walking down the hallway. Needless to say, I went up to him and shook his hand and then thanked him for being on my fantasy basketball team this year. Another fan then informed me that Ron Artest and Kevin Martin were also at the show, which made me realize that I should have asked Francisco if he was glad the Kings sucked this year and missed the playoffs so he would be available to see Kanye.

Anyway, let's get back on track. Just as some background information, the tour consists of Lupe Fiasco, N.E.R.D., Rihanna, and Kanye West - and that's the order that they appeared.

So let's start with Lupe Fiasco - the up and comer. Lupe sort of appeared out of nowhere. He had a pretty strong fan base for a while after his first album, but then rose to mainstream stardom after his second album. Now, Lupe Fiasco is that rapper that's "cool" to like. Even if you don't really know any of his other songs besides "Superstar" you still tell all your friends, "Oh yeah, dude, Lupe Fiasco is the shit" because you think it'll raise your cred.

Therefore, Lupe is most like Monta Ellis. Monta is the guy who people love and believe is going to be a star in the NBA. After last season, only Warrior fans really knew his awesome potential. But after this past season, everyone in world is wild over Monta, even though it's still really only Warrior fans who get to see him because no one outside of the Bay Area watches Warrior basketball. Even out here in Davis, I don't get to watch Warriors games on FSN Bay Area (or Comcast Bay Area or whatever the hell it is now) because they black the games out to force people to watch the local Kings games. So I only get Warrior games when they're on national TV, meaning I see the same amount of Warrior games as someone who lives in Vermont. Anyway, we're getting off track here. Basically, Lupe is Monta.

Part 2 coming up soon...

From Around the Blogs:
Obama vs. Clinton on the WWE was probably the most stupidly funny thing that happened yesterday [PoliJAM]
Inside the NBA does the prom [Odenized]
Danica Patrick makes a bold statement in racing, sort of [The Angry T]

How Many Athletes' Wives/Gfs/Groupies Have Posed for Playboy? (Possibly NSFW, Major Boobage)

Before anyone makes any accusations that we are sexist, please note this post was written by Ms. Auto.

Years ago, I was a fan of the 49ers. Alright, I still am. Behind my Saints, they WERE the team. I thought about the 49ers, their present, and their past. Then I thought about the upcoming draft and how I don’t want the Cowboys to draft Cal's DeSean Jackson, because honestly, I don’t want the Cowboys to get better.

But by next week, things will be figured out. And at the end of the season, only one team can claim they are the best. For the rest of the players of the rest of the teams, they go home, party, cry, whatever…and some of them come home to some really hot wives (ie. 2004 Playmate of the Year)

Jeff Garcia, how the heck did you get that wifey?

Didn’t Terrell Owens accuse you of being gay? Look, as much as I hate T.O for leaving the Niners (just like Deion Sanders…BOO to YOU!) and going to Dallas, I don’t think his statements go unmerited. Sure T.O. is obnoxious and full of himself, but really, what does he have to gain? All I know is that Mr. Jeff Garcia is now 38 years old, and without the hope or chance of getting the Buccaneers to the Superbowl like say, Favre had with the Packers.

And let’s just get down to it: Garcia is no Favre, so why the heck doesn’t he retire already??

I mean LOOK AT HER! Damn you Carmella DeCesare, I thought I was comfortable with myself, and there you go just messing up my self-esteem. Geez, I am so jealous.

I’m with T.O. Jeff Garcia, you’re nearing 40 years old. And if you’re still trying to play football (knowing you won’t win) instead of going home to Carmella, you’re a fruit. You probably enjoy looking at and slapping hot, sweaty football player’s asses as much as I do. And that’s not good.

Let me, Ms. Auto, set aside a little time to just say, "oh yeah"


Go MARSHAWN LYNCH!

Anyhow, I figured that after looking at pictures of Carmella, why not beat myself up a little more by researching other hot athlete wives, girlfriends, fiances, whatever..

Here’s eye candy for you gentlemen (I am only focusing on athletes associated with CA, because after all, we are THE PLAY IN CA):

Tito Ortiz, from Huntington Beach, (GO UFC!!!!) is with Jenna Jameson =0


A former Sacramento King, now New Orleans Hornet, Peja Stojakovic’s wife, Aleka Kamila, is damn beautiful:


Reggie Bush’s curvaceous lady (coming from southern CA):

this sex tape is what made her
but to do her justice, here's another picture:


I had to add this picture:


Tony Romo, born in SD, and his Texas gf Jessica Simpson…haha

I'm still not over the tuna deal

Hollywood’s David Beckham and his Posh Spice:

I think she's tooooo skinny now

But as a woman, again I must add a picture to balance this all out:


Alex Smith’s fiancé and former Oakland Raiderette, Elizabeth Barry:


Jeff Gordon, was in Vallejo, CA for some time. Here’s his wife Ingrid Vandebosh.


Tiger Woods is from CA. Bet you didn’t know that. Bet you don’t care. Here’s his Swedish wife, Elin Nordegren:


Eat your hearts out men.

Oh yeah, I'm not sure how many of these ladies have posed for Playboy. For sure Jenna, Kim, Carmella. Is that even an issue?

To the real ladies of the world, don't look at these pictures and get discouraged. Instead, to you trophy women, I say this:
“I eat real meals and all that wonderfulness. And I can chug beers! Hey Carmella, Kim, Posh, can you? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
I hope you enjoy your oatmeal, bitches.
I'll be at Everett and Jones for some ribs and cocktails.”

"with extra sides"

P.S. Because I like Alyssa Milano, I just wanted to post pictures of her. Hope you like that KC Cal =)