A Reflection of the Big Game, After Graduation

Last year, I offered this little anecdote about my first Big Game experience. If you don’t want to take the time to click on the link and read the article, you lazy asshole, I’ll recap. Basically boy wears Stanford sweater in the stands, fans rip boy’s sweater off his back, boy is left half naked, fans light sweater on fire, in the middle of a freakin’ stadium out of wood. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, and yes, it totally did rule.

Unfortunately, that moment was when my Big Game craziness was at its peak. Yeah, sadly, I peaked when I was a freshman. By no means though does this mean that my other Big Game experiences lacked any fun. In fact, my junior year the Big Game was just as awesome, though a little tamer. It was the magical year when a fullback turned quarterback named Steve Levy helped save the moral of a down hearted Cal nation. Our star quarterback (at the time at least) Nate Longshore was sidelined by an injury, and Joe Ayoob was out there playing like Joe Ayoob. Translation, our team was fucked.

But then, Levy helped boost the morale that fateful Big Game by leading Cal to a victory over the bed stealing jackasses known as the Stanford nation. It was magical, it was awesome, it was, okay, okay, it was expected. Considering Trent Johnson was injured for like the ninth time and Marshawn Lynch and DeSean Jackson was on our starting squad, it wasn’t that much of an upset. Regardless though, it was pretty cool that Levy got his moment in the sun before engaging in the exciting career of bar fighter.

My own moment was fun thanks to a hearty tailgating party before the game. Me and my friends headed over to our friends house in Palo Alto and dined on everything from Italian sausage to California rolls. They were yummy and provided us with much needed energy. We headed over like kings.

On the outside this seems rather unextraordinary, but man, trust me when I say this kiddos, something as simple as this will be sorely missed once you enter the real world. You’re greatest worry will be getting to the game on time and finals coming up. You know what my greatest worry is? Being stuck in middle management for 15 years while work is sucking at my soul. How often do you wonder what you’re doing with your life? Because I’m sure as hell it isn’t every freakin’ day. Shit.

And the real irony is that while all of this sounds rancid, the second biggest worry I have is losing this monotony by getting laid off. And the third biggest worry, memos and pointless paper work. No, it’s not just an Office Space joke, it’s a real thing, and it fucking sucks. Where do you think they got the inspiration from? Not from the Groundlings Theatre, I can assure you that. In short, the real world blows.

So enjoy the Big Game, because I sure as hell will. God I miss college. Excuse me now as I go to the nearest corner to cry.