Shawne Merriman, Live From London

Ooooooooooooooh, you sucka’s better be glad that Shawne Merriman didn’t show up to the little birthday party that you guys threw on Monday, because if Shawne Merriman was there, you know shit would’ve gotten torn up! Ain’t no one out there parties harder than Lights Out, NO ONE!!!!

What about me SW?

Shut the hell up white boy and get back to yo’ hotel room before I beat the shit out of you! No one interrupts big S in the middle of his blogging.

Okay…

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, the reason I wasn’t out there in California to celebrate with all you candyasses is because I’m out here in England with the team. We’re playing the Saints this week, and after we’re done with them, they’ll be back being called Ain’ts. Didn’t like that joke? Well too bad, because if you don’t laugh, I’m gonna ram my goddamn boot into your face, sucka!

Let me tell you what, England is a weird place. They got these dudes dressed up in red with these big ass hats who won’t talk to you. At first I tried to say, “what’s up bitch?” and they didn’t respond. The nerve of these guys. They just stood there like they thought they were better than me. So that’s when I asked them very politely if I could COME UP FROM BEHIND THEM AND BUST A ROCK BOTTOM ON THEIR CANDY ASSES.


BOOM BITCH!!!

And you know people here at tea and crumpets. I don’t even know what a crumpet is, all I know is that’s not what Shawne Merriman eats. I don’t eat anything but hard nails and steel, because I’m one tough mother fucker!! Pssht, the British, what a bunch of pansies.

Well, anyway, I got to go now, seems that LT be complaining about the coldness here. Time to set that bitch straight!