Matt Stairs-way to Heaven

FYI - I thought of that title before MLB.com took it, even though I'm sure many of the other awesome clever slick bloggers came up with it too...

Matt Stairs. That name sounds familiar. Ahh...that's right! The 72-year-old who used to play for the Oakland A's. I remember him in his prime those days when he was just 58 years old. Those good old Athletics times...


Seriously CAN NOT tell the difference between the 2 pictures. The only similarity: Grandpa Stairs changed uniforms. And he's actually playing for the World Series now. But I just can't get past those young Athletic days.

Remember Ben Grieve, who's supposed to be the up-and-coming next big thing?


Where the heck is he now? Working behind a Mickey D's counter? Wal-Mart? Vendor at the Network Associates Coliseum? Excuse me, it's the McAfee Coliseum now. Don't mind me and my old nostalgic self.

Anyways...I've just about had it with the Dodgers. For all you Dodger hopeful and faithfuls out there, quit wasting your time.

YOUR SEASON IS OVER!!

I'm calling it right here, right now.

- Rafael Furcal will do some pregame running on the treadmill and slip and break his ankles.

- Andre Ethier will foul the batting practice balls off his knee and injure it badly.

- Manny Ramirez will wear a Manny wig and choke on his own fake hair.

- Russell Martin will catch the ceremonial first pitch from Alyssa Milano and get hit in the balls.

- James Loney will stretch so far out of first during fielding practice and pull his hamstrings.

- Blake DeWitt will get socked by Casey Blake for stealing his name.

- Casey Blake will get suspended for socking Blake DeWitt, and sucking horribly at the plate.

- Any center fielder who plays will fall into the Andruw Jones suckiness trap for the rest of their career.

- Chad Billingsley got rocked in Game 2; same goes for Game 5.

Not even the ye olde Joe Torre can help you now. Your time is up, Dodger Blue. You've just been cursed by the ORANGE GIANT. Muahahahhahahaha Make room for the Phillies vs. Rays in the 2008 World Series.

On the bright side, you get free time at home to watch one of the funniest sitcoms out there. At least they still got some Dodger pride for ya: