Hear those footsteps sneaking up behind you? That’s me Cal fans, good old Nate Longshore ready to storm in with another year of awesomeness.BOOOO!!!!!!!
Hey hey, I know some of you out there have lost faith in good old Nasty Nate, but let me assure you that I’ve been practicing my stuff this year. After all, I was a former Elite 11 quarterback. Do you know what that means Cal? It means I was one of the top 11 quarterbacks in the nation coming out of high school. Of course you know what that means, you guys are Cal fans! Get it? Wasn’t that a great joke?BOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEARN COMEDIC TIMING, ASSHOLE!!!!
Okay, so I know some of you have doubt in my ability, but look at this, ESPN features a whole article detailing my road to redemption. They said I could even win my job back from Kevin “I Don’t Know How To Throw Away The Ball” Riley! Isn’t that swell?BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BETTER THAN THE NICKNAME NATE WRONGSHORE!!!!
Man, I don’t get you people. What does it take to get people in Berkeley to like you? Do I have to crawl on my knees and ask for forgiveness?? What the hell do you people want from me? What do you people like?Obama!!!!
Asians!!!
MATLOCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hmm okay okay okay, if that’s what you people want, that’s what you people get. I’m going to be the most liberal, Matlock watching, Obama supporting, Asian American Association joining quarterback this side of the Pac-10. I’m willing to sacrifice all of this, because I care about you Cal fans! Go Bears!!!!Game day against Michigan State, 4th Quarter, Cal leads 52-10, with Longshore throwing for 7 TDS and no INTS
There, I’ve done it, we beat Michigan State! Not only that, but these fans love me! Listen to that crowd:
LONGSHORE! LONGSHORE! LONGSHORE!Yes, redemption at last, redemption at last! Now, it’s time to just go out there and run the clock out.
Longshore takes the snap and fumbles the ball. Michigan State recovers.
Aww man! Oh well, I mean we’re up by 42 points, and it was just one small hiccup. I’m sure these Cal fans will still support me.
BOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU FUCKING SUCK LONGSHORE! PUT IN RILEY!!!
Man, I fucking hate this school.
3 comments:
You are right - living in California is just totally awesome.
And we have some really cool sports teams too.
Hahah. I love it.
Screw Longshore, he is done with Cal. Two int in first two drives, come on, KC CAL can do better!
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