Skip Bayless and Stephen A Smith At the Movies

Photos via the Sports Hernia

Skip Bayless: Hi everyone, after last week’s very successful critique that Stephen and I did about the movie The Dark Knight, we decided that the film industry needed our expertise. After all, we analyze sports, so analyzing movies should be a piece of cake.

Stephen A. Smith: That’s right Skip. Many people may not know this, but I am a noted film buff, and I’m ready to take on any challenge that walks my way, whether it be a high art indie film or the next big summer block buster. Also, since Ebert and Roeper are calling it quits, I think it’s about time that Hollywood is ready for Smith and Bayless. So, what movie do we have on today’s show, Skip?

Skip: Now normally, most movie critics would start by reviewing this week’s upcoming attractions, but let me tell you this Stephen, I AM SO CONFIDENT about my movie reviewing abilities that I think we should both comment on a movie that isn’t going to be out until wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy in the future. Don’t you agree Stephen?

Stephen: Absolutely Skip, I was about to say the same thing. That’s why as a gift from us to you, the viewer, we’re going to bust out the big guns and tackle Transformers 2, which won’t be coming out to a theatre near you anytime soon. So Skip, what did you think of this movie?

Skip: Well to be blunt, Stephen, I THOUGHT IT WAS HORRENDOUS! The fact that they have robots talking and transforming into vehicles is absolutely astounding to me! What kind of knuckleheaded producer would allow this despicable, unmentionable piece of cinema trash hit the big screens of the United States? I hated this movie, and I’ll tell you why:
a) Robots can’t talk
b) I did not buy Megatron’s performance as the villain
c) Optimus Prime was mundane and completely clichéd as the hero of the movie
d) Arcee was not a good choice for the love interest

Stephen: First of all Skip, I have to say right here and now that all your arguments for not supporting this movie are utterly ridiculous, and let me tell you why. First of all you forgot ta suspend yourself in the world of Transformers. This is the type of movie that has action and thrills, but the talking robots are really what made this movie such a phenomenal film. You couldn’t ask for a better hero or villain than Megatron and Optimus Prime either.

Skip: But you know that you have to agree with me on that last one.

Stephen: That’s where you’re right Skip. For the role of the female transformer, you gotta get someone smokin’! I’m talking about a Thunderblast or a Roulette. Someone who is fine! Even throw a sista Transformer in there if you have to. You gotta give me that, Michael Bay, c’mon!

Skip: I did enjoy that Shia LeBeouf kid though. He reminds me of a young version of myself.

Stephen: You mean someone who’s a self absorbed, hypocritical jerk who has an ego that’s big enough to block out the sun?

Skip: Exactly.

Stephen: I guess a brotha can’t argue with that.

(For those of you who think this piece is completely arbitrary, check out this clip where Skip and Stephen review the Dark Knight, and you’ll see where I’m coming from)

The clip's is here at Defamer.