MLB (Boring) All-Star Game Recap

The Mid-Summer Classic. The House That Ruth Built. The last year of Yankee Stadium. This All-Star game must be magical.


You would think it'd be magical. You would think a Yankee would do something amazing to set some Yankee history. You would THINK.

As I speak, the game is going to the bottom of the 15th inning, tied 3-3. It's already the longest All-Star game time-wise. And we all thought baseball itself was boring enough, and I'm a baseball fan! And Bud Selig can't really just call off the game as a tie just like 2002 in Milwaukee, because "THIS GAME COUNTS." The winning league gets homefield advantage in the World Series. So what was Bud Selig doing?


Something in the line of this. A little booger-picking and a lot of yawning and being bored. The TV shot of Bud Selig at the end of the 12th inning was classic. I've never seen a person looked so bored, especially if you basically run the entire organization.

Well, nothing exciting came out of a Yankees uniform. A-Rod didn't even participate in the Homerun Derby, letting Josh Hamilton, a former drugee, bash 28 homeruns in 1 round, 28!!!! What did A-Rod do that was oh-so-much-more important than spending time at Yankee Stadium?


The material girl herself: Madonna. A-Rod was reported having a party at Club 40/40, with Madonna on his special VIP guestlist. What a story there. A-Rod = BIGGEST MANWHORE IN THE WORLD! There's a story for the NY media, rather than threatening Jonathan Papelbon with a PapelBUM in the news.

That serves the entire New York City right. JD Drew, Boston Red Sox, ties the game with a 2-run homer. Evan Longoria, the Yankee's division rival, ties it again with a double to make it 3-3.

But hey, it's the All-Star Game, let's talk about the All Stars!! Here's mine: DAN UGGLA.


Oh boy, Dan Uggla, what an uggla-y game!! (Pun intended, *wink*)

3 errors, with a chance to redeem himself at the plate and potentially win it for the NL. What happens? Fastball, strike 1. Fastball, strike 2. Nasty curveball, half an uggla-y swing and a big fat K. Good thing he plays for a team with no fans.

As I speak again, bottom of the 15th, the American League finally wins with a sacrifice fly from Michael Young. GASP! What a big surprise. The league that has won the All-Star Game the past 11 straight times, plus that tie. And it's not like the NL didn't have their chance. Even the umpires helped them, when Ian Kinsler stole second and was called out when clearly Miguel Tejada didn't even tag him. Or when the big fat speedy Tampa Bay Ray catcher Navarro slid under the tag at home, which would've won it for the AL, was called out.

Anways, I just wasted 4 hours and 50 minutes of my day. I guess that makes me a bigger loser, so it's time to end this post. On a last note, I wonder who else A-Rod is doing right now. Who do you think?

FYI, the Clippers just got Marcus Camby from the Nuggets to form the best African American/Caucasian frontcourt in the NBA. Congrats!

BTW, congrats to the San Jose Sabercats on making it to the Arena Bowl again, looking to win their 4th championship, in 6 years? 7 years? Who cares, go Sabercats!


Post-Game Update: Take that, Yankees! Your All Star MVP, the last year at the House that Ruth built, none other than Boston Red Sox J.D. Drew: