Kanye West and Sports: An Analogy Part II

For those of you who missed out, last week I attended Kanye West's Glow in the Dark Tour, and it inspired me to start an entry comparing the Glow in the Dark tour artists (Kanye West, Rihanna, NERD, and Lupe Fiasco) and California athletes. Basically, we're looking at which athletes are most like the artists on the tour. Sorry I didn't finish it earlier, but I'm still recovering from the realization that Barry Zito is capable of winning maybe three games this entire season. In Triple-A.

Anyway, let's move along. Last time we started with comparing Lupe Fiasco to Monta Ellis. Now we move on to N.E.R.D. The way I see it, N.E.R.D. is most like the Oakland A's. People know who N.E.R.D. is, but most people can't name the members of the group. Same with the A's - people know they exist, but do you really know all the guys in their starting lineup? Also, N.E.R.D. isn't a great group, but they're not terrible either. Consistency is the name of the game, and you can say the same for the A's. Also, N.E.R.D. is led by Pharrell, and I've been told that he's hot.

In comparison, if you talk to any female A's fans and start a conversation about the team, by their fifth sentence the hotness of the A's players will have come up. On that note, my girlfriend would be mad at me if I didn't point out that Huston Street is the hottest of all the A's.


Let's just move on to Rihanna.
She was sort of a mystery to me because she didn't really seem to fit in with the rest of the concert. She wasn't bad, but she just seemed out of place. So Rihanna can best be represented by the San Jose Earthquakes.



I guess they're not that bad because they won the MLS cup in 2001 and 2003. But who the hell even knew that? Also, I didn't even realize that the team had moved from San Jose to Houston in 2005, and then they actually re-started the team in San Jose in 2007. I guess that doesn't necessarily make them out of place. But I think soccer is just out place in America in general. So for the purposes of this entry, I'll allow this analogy to stand. (On a side note, I'd like to thank Wikipedia for helping me with this part of the entry since I know nothing about the San Jose Earthquakes or the MLS in general. Also, thanks for the help on my history paper).

Finally, there's the main attraction: Kanye West.


He can be controversial ("George W. Bush doesn't care about black people") and people either love him or hate him, but it's hard to deny his talent. Therefore, Kanye is Barry Bonds. Barry is, of course, controversial (that whole steroids thing), and people either love him (Giants fans), or hate him (anyone not from San Francisco). Also, coincidentally (or not coincidentally) Kanye West has a song on the Graduation album called "Barry Bonds."


I realize that LA fans haven't gotten much love in this whole thing, so I offer up Kobe Bryant as another good Kanye comparison. Kobe is controversial (the rape case) and even though I am a Kobe-hater, I admit that he's a pretty good basketball player. Also, people either unconditionally love him:


or hate him:


So that's your Glow in the Dark Tour - California Athlete style. Maybe next year Barry Zito can be a part of it if a spot opens up on the tour for an overpaid, overrated, crappy rapper. Hopefully Nelly isn't too busy.

From Around the Blogs (Buzz Bissinger vs Bloggers) Edition:
What started it all [Deadspin]
Dan Shanoff's take [Dan Shanoff]
EDSBS's excellent thoughts [EDSBS]