Dallas is about to MAKE IT RAIN!!!!!

"Damn, I really thought he was serious about this wrestling thing."

Please note that this post has nothing to do with California. U12 was just overfilled with commentary about Pacman that he needed an outlet to spill the beans.

Pacman Jones was traded to the Cowboys today, leaving America with mixed emotions. Some think this is a stupid move for Dallas; as Pacman will never mature. Some think this is a brilliant move; since Jerry Jones was able to control crackhead Michael Irvin and Leon Lett and Deion Sanders and …well you get the idea. And finally, there are those who think that Barack Obama needs to stop shouting out stolen catch phrases he found off the internet when giving speeches.

In the end, the Pacman’s addition will prove to be another risky success for the Cowboys. His presence will be felt more off the field then on; and surprisingly in a good way. By trading for Pacman, the Cowboys have admitted that they blew it with Roy Williams. They got too excited when he laid out receivers for his first 2 years and forgot to pay attention to the number of touchdowns he gave up, the number of white tight ends that juked him, and the number of sheer mis-reads he’s made over his career in the NFL. Well, hopefully the signing of Jones puts an end to that. Yes, Jones is not a safety, but he is a lockdown corner. And by signing Jones, it should mean that Dallas is concerned with getting beat by the passing game; thus scrutinizing the play of those who can’t defend. And since they acquired Ken Hamlin a year back, maybe this is the final piece before they put Roy Williams on the bench. At least that’s what I hope.

With Pacman Jones strengthening the other corner position, Dallas can be more aggressive up front. Maybe now they won’t give up 5 yards a carry to every team with an adequate running game. The 3-4 scheme the Cowboys run is beautiful when the team can blitz and put 8 men in the box; and I truly believe Pacman’s addition can allow the Cowboys to do just that.

With Terry Glenn coming back as well, Marion Barber being the sole running back, and Tony Romo one year more mature, Dallas looks just as promising as it was last year, and definitely could win it all. Then again, these are the same Cowboys that dropped a game winning completion to the Giants, allowing a questionable team to pull off one of the biggest upsets in NFL history…the same Cowboys that botched a chip shot field goal in the playoffs in the same year that they allowed the Redskins to block a game ending field goal, recover, accept a face mask penalty, line up and kick the game winning field goal…all in 15 seconds of game time.

Now onto the more important Pacman news…here’s what we think the “welcome to Dallas” party will be like.

100 strippers, 1 million dollars in ‘Ones’, Deion Sanders, Michael Irvin, Larry Allen, Roy Williams, Terrell Owens, and Pacman Jones in the VIP section. Jerry Jones will show up to get a lapdance and to slip a message to Pacman saying “shape up or I’ll kill you…Texas style”. Paul Wall will be outside in a candy coated ride holding up some purple drank. Mike Jones will still be trying to get the DJ to play his track, all the while yelling MIKE JONESSSS (please stop already). Mark Cuban will be in the corner plotting a scheme to have Jason Kidd beaten up. Jason Kidd will be beating his wife (ouch). Whoever the hell owns the Texas Rangers will also be in the club, throwing the 50 bucks he got for selling the Rangers at a single stripper; who eventually rejects his plea to have a lapdance. Jessica Simpson will be there too; no, not stripping, but trying to find Tony Romo, who actually is at Carrie Underwood’s pad. Ah, Dallas will definitely be rockin’ that night.

Take that Jessica!

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