Winning Isn't Everything, Prepubescent Rap Stars Are

Like many of you, my NCAA bracket is already in serious trouble (curses, Georgetown...) But with the first weekend of the tournament behind us, it's a good time for some reflection. Everybody knows the big winners from the first two rounds (or in some cases, the barely winners...)

And...


Sure, the big boys - UCLA and Stanford - survived and moved on, and that's the name of the game in the NCAA tournament. Meanwhile, San Diego stunned UConn in the first round, and then was shocked to learn that it actually had a chance of getting into the Sweet 16 when Western Kentucky managed to beat fifth seeded Drake to set up a 12 versus 13 matchup. Then San Diego went out and promptly lost to the Hilltoppers. But let's not forget those others who were not as fortunate to make it to next weekend. Although the Queen song "We Are the Champions" loudly sings the line "no time for losers," we have plenty of time for them - especially now that finals are over.

Here's a quick recap of the losing California schools from the opening rounds of the Big Dance. First, there was USC, falling to Kansas State 80-67 in what was one of the first "upsets" of the tournament - an 11 seed over a 6 seed. Then there was underdog St. Mary's, unable to overcome Miami 78-64.

Let's start with St. Mary's. Many people picked the Gaels to be the Cinderella of this year's tournament. Why? Honestly, I'm not quite sure. I mean, I guess they're a decent squad and they have that Australian guy on their team...but they play in the WCC. Yeah, yeah I know you'll point to Gonzaga and their success to prove me wrong. But let's be real here - the Gonzaga of today is not the Gonzaga of previous years, especially with the absence of big name players like Adam Morrison and Ronny Turiaf. Still, I think that the lasting memory of Gonzaga - in my mind, at least - will forever be this:

Don't worry, Adam Morrison. I know your NBA career is on hold right now because of your knee injury. But at least you've got a backup plan: a career in porn. I mean, that's why you have your mustache and hair like that, right? Or I guess you could always be a professional hick.


Anyway, the point is that St. Mary's was probably overrated and didn't stand a chance in the tournament. Or maybe I'm just bitter because I foolishly bought into the hype and had them beating Miami in my bracket.

Let's just move onto USC. Now I know that some people who may not follow sports as closely are wondering, "Wait...I thought the Trojans just played football..." And it turns out you're right. It was a much-hyped matchup between super freshmen OJ Mayo of USC and Michael Beasley of K-State, better known as the "We're just doing this because David Stern won't let us go straight to the NBA" game of the tournament. The Wildcats and Beasley came out on top, and the SC basketball team returned to its rightful place: in the shadows of the football team.

Now, with Mayo heading for the draft, Trojan fans may be pondering the future of basketball at USC. But never fear, Trojan faithful. Help is on the way next year with the arrival of Percy Romeo Miller, Jr - also known as this guy:

That's right. Lil Romeo. (Yes, he has gotten slightly older since that picture was taken). Romeo, as you may recall, has put out such chart-topping hits as "My Baby" and....well, actually that's about it. And the only reason you might remember "My Baby" is because it sampled (and when I say sampled, I mean basically re-used) the hit Jackson 5 song "I Want You Back."

But we're getting off track. Back to Lil Romeo coming to SC. A press release has compared Romeo's game to that of Allen Iverson's. Of course, that press release was written up by Romeo's people. In reality, Rivals.com has him as a two-star recruit, so he's not exactly going to be the next...well, OJ Mayo. But let's be honest, the only reason people care about is Romeo is because he's better recognized as the son of this man:


Don't worry, Trojan fans, spring football practice is underway.

Get your peace signs up, fight on...and make 'em say UGHHHHHHH!!!!!

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