"Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! My-yummy!"Ooooooh, the sadness Stanford, the sadness! Victory was yours for the taking! Weren’t you ready to pour fountains of champagne and reign supreme atop the Pac-10 mountain? Weren’t you ready to finally taste the sweet sweet nectar of glory by beating one of the top teams in the nation? Weren’t you ready to lose that title as the second best team in the West?
It looked pretty sweet for most of the game huh? By the half, your defense held UCLA to 18 measly points and you had a nice cushy 12 point lead. Forcing UCLA to shoot only 7-22 during the half is quite an accomplishment. Pretty sweet. I’m sure Trent Johnson was fired up. He probably killed someone on the way to the locker room from getting all pumped up during the first half. (If you haven’t noticed, Trent Johnson is probably the most murderous looking coach in all of college basketball).
The second half started off great too. Brook Lopez added another two, making your lead to a nice 14 pts. But then, slowly but surely, UCLA started creeping back. A Kevin Love shot here, a Collison lay-up there, and all of a sudden UCLA was inching closer. You’re thinking this is horrible, a Ben Braun coached squad could do better. (Okay maybe not).
It wasn’t a total blow out run though, you guys kept in there to the last shot. In fact, with the last shot on the line, you guys were up by two. Pretty impressive considering you were facing a tough crowd down in Westwood.So with 2 seconds left, you’re thinking “okay, just don’t do anything stupid Stanford. For the love of god don’t do anything stupid.”
Collison goes for the shot and…
Lawrence Hill blocks it. Yes! Stanford is awe-… wait what? Why are they stopping the game? Why did the ref blow his whistle? Why is my erection going down?
Foul!?!?! Foul!?!?! What foul?!?! He totally had all ball on that?!! What?!? This is ridiculous…
Collison hits one shot…. Collison hits another and….
Just like that you knew the game was over. Once OT started, UCLA got hot and never looked back.The players shake hands and start heading to the locker room. You hold your head in disappointment and all you have is Jack Nicholson’s smug little face to look at, which is never comforting. The only thing you ever see in Jack’s face is him slowly undressing you with his eyes. It’s pretty creepy.
"I'm sorry for unleashing these man boobies on your fragile eyes."In a flash, things just went down hill, and all I have to say is boo fuckin’ hoo because………. THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR STEALING MY BED!!! NEXT TIME BRING AN INFLATABLE MATRESS AND KARMA WON’T BE SUCH A BITCH.
You guys totally deserved to win yesterday, but totally didn’t.
Whomp, whomp! Better luck next time suckers.With all that said though, go Stanford. Like I said before, I got money to win during March Madness.
From Around the Blogs:
We didn't really feel like watching the Cal game, so someone else did, oh wait they didn't [Conquest Chronicles]
The Nuggets are kind of the new Warriors [Free Darko]
Two words: beach soccer [Uncommon Sportsman]
3 comments:
So, why is Trent Johnson the most murderous looking coach in NCAA? Is it because he's black?
... Man, I thought I knew you hippies at Berkeley better than that. I thought you were PROGRESSIVE.
Actually, I just think he has a really scary looking snear on his face everytime the cameras pan on to him. Didn't even think of the whole black connection....
I'm not going to totally clown on you, because you don't like USC, and that's something we can all agree on. That being said, I don't really know why you say Stanford "deserved to win", but then you're happy that Stanford lost. Too bad Kal's 16-13 record might not even get them into the NIT.
And can we talk a little bit about Big Game last year? From third in the country to losing to Stanford? Yikes. Your tears of unfathomable were even more delicious that day, my friend. Looking forward to more humor in the future!
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