Randy Moss, Spygate, Raiders, and Javon Walker

It was the great Deion Sanders who once said Randy Moss is “like a beautiful woman who can’t cook, doesn’t clean, and doesn’t want to take care of the kids. You really don’t want her, but she’s so beautiful you can’t let her go.” The Randy Moss today cooks, cleans, and even changes diapers. But the question remains, what exactly did Randy Moss see in the Patriots? Why didn’t he comeback to the Raiders? What makes New England so great? Obviously, its the fans, huh?

What’s wrong with Oakland (a lot of things), or any other team for that matter?

#5 Moss, making a great fit for the Eagles, Cowboys, and several other NFC teams…feared being in the same division as Patrick Willis.

#4 Moss met with Culpepper to discuss teaming up once again. They played Madden 08 after trading to be on one another’s team. Culpepper threw 3 interceptions in a losing effort….against the Raiders.

#3 Moss claims he has great chemistry with Tom Brady. He says Tom Brady and him, throwing for a record number of touchdowns this season can be replicated next season. He really believes in the connection he was with Tom. All lies. He sees the chemistry with Tom’s lover, Gisele.

Okay, this was just an excuse to put up a picture of her.

#2 Randy Moss had a nightmare the night before the agreement was made. He dreamt he read the papers and it said that he had been traded to the Raiders. He dreamt he enjoyed one season where he admitted to not playing hard and they won barely any games and he hated his life there. And on top of that, every night he had to go to his home in Oakland…fearing for his life. He woke up, ran downstairs, picked up the newspaper from his front porch and read the sports headline only to see how much the Oakland newspapers hated him, and some rioting.

#1 The Spygate scandal actually crossed more boundaries then known by the media. Not only did Bill Belichick spy on the Jets, Rams, and various other teams; but he was able to capture Randy Moss performing certain actions in his own home, and used this footage to blackmail Moss into staying and signing a below value contract. And by certain actions, we mean a prostitution ring. Hey, New York Governors need to get their hookers from somewhere.

Guess Randy won’t be in a black and silver jersey for a while. All of this is irrelevant though, since the Raiders signed Javon Walker, also known as Randy Moss version 2.0. Twice the hype, probably twice the disappointment.


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