Over the past week, the San Francisco 49ers added a couple of veteran players to their roster, hoping that they will help transform last season's horrible disaster to the upcoming season's Cinderella story.
We all know Alex Smith and Frank Gore sucked. They were the core of the team. Naturally, this is a losing game plan. That's why the 49ers brought in Mike Martz right after the season to straighten Alex Smith and the offense out as the offensive coordinator. The Lions had a reasonably fair offense last year, so let's see what he can do to the even worse 49ers. The 49ers don't want a regular fair Mike Martz. The 49ers want the Mike Martz who helped the St. Louis Rams win the Super Bowl a few years ago. Or helped them lose to the Patriots. Dick Vermeil, Mike Martz, whatever, they're all just old white people. I just know one of them doesn't bitch around after every loss AND every win. That one guy was Martz. Therefore, Mike Martz will either be...
...and offensive genius...
...or another bust for the 49ers.To help him to hopefully become a genius, the 49ers brought in the old, I mean, talented and skilled for his age, Isaac Bruce.
Just look at those guns, pushing defenders away like they were playing pee-wee football. If president Bush is looking for weapons of mass destruction, he should just look at Issac's biceps. Bruce has been in the league forever, so he knows what's up. He can still run, he can still catch. He's no Terrell Owens or Randy Moss, but he did win a Super Bowl. Plus, tears of love don't pour down his face once someone mentions the name Tony Romo. Let's just hope he doesn't turn out to be a too-good-to-be-true-and-too-expensive Darrell Jackson, who did absolutely NOTHING for the 49ers, except take away their money. The only catches he made were on the practice field.
So Isaac Bruce, please bring back your smile and talent from your St. Louis Rams Super Bowl days and help the 49ers get somewhere?
OK, so next year we will have Martz leading the 49ers offense, which would be an upgrade. We will still have Smith and Gore at QB and RB, so maybe they can bounce back. Vernon Davis will need to stay as a TE beast, and Bruce needs to lead the offense with his veteran presence, by making 3209463290 catches and scoring 38294730 TDs. Or zero.
In addition to offense, the 49ers also picked up a defensive sacking machine in defensive end Justin Smith from the Cincinnati Bengals.
Just look at him taking Chad Pennington down and out. Wow, unbelievable! OK, you're right, it's only Chad Pennington. Hey, at least Jet fans were happy about that hit. And fine, Smith only had like 2 sacks last season, but he was injured and it was a fluke, just like Alex Smith, or Frank Gore, or all of the Niner roster. The 2 seasons before, he had 16 sacks each, so like Isaac Bruce, we want the older version of Justin Smith. If it works out, linebacker Patrick Willis and Justin Smith could be a good combo on the 49ers defense. So Justin Smith, please bring out the fierce in you for the 49ers.
So with these two acquisitions, it sounds like the 49ers are looking for these veterans to get back on track like they used to when they were younger. Man, that sounds so much like the San Francisco Giants bringing in veterans around Barry Bonds to try to win it all, and we all know how that turned out. What is up with San Francisco? We are playing in the NFL here, not this:
"Though I wouldn't mind if they brought this back."
OK, OK, let's be optimistic and patient here. Let's hope that the 49ers will be able to turn their season around with these player acquisitions who may or may not be past their prime. Let's just be patient and wait over half a year to see what else the 49ers can do to improve their roster. If we want some football action, let's just stick with our San Jose Sabercats in the Arena Football League right now. They're actually not that bad, being in the league for the 13th season with 3 championships, the most recent being this past year. So before we say "Go Niners!" in the NFL, let's root for our wonderful Sabercats and "Meow!"
God Bay Area football sucks right now.
From Around the Blogs:
Australian Cheaty McCheater [Dave's Football Blog]
Kevin Johnson and the Sactown mayor race [The Sports Hernia]
Lebron is no Kobe [YAY Sports]
Just look at those guns, pushing defenders away like they were playing pee-wee football. If president Bush is looking for weapons of mass destruction, he should just look at Issac's biceps. Bruce has been in the league forever, so he knows what's up. He can still run, he can still catch. He's no Terrell Owens or Randy Moss, but he did win a Super Bowl. Plus, tears of love don't pour down his face once someone mentions the name Tony Romo. Let's just hope he doesn't turn out to be a too-good-to-be-true-and-too-expensive Darrell Jackson, who did absolutely NOTHING for the 49ers, except take away their money. The only catches he made were on the practice field.
So Isaac Bruce, please bring back your smile and talent from your St. Louis Rams Super Bowl days and help the 49ers get somewhere?
OK, so next year we will have Martz leading the 49ers offense, which would be an upgrade. We will still have Smith and Gore at QB and RB, so maybe they can bounce back. Vernon Davis will need to stay as a TE beast, and Bruce needs to lead the offense with his veteran presence, by making 3209463290 catches and scoring 38294730 TDs. Or zero.
In addition to offense, the 49ers also picked up a defensive sacking machine in defensive end Justin Smith from the Cincinnati Bengals.
Just look at him taking Chad Pennington down and out. Wow, unbelievable! OK, you're right, it's only Chad Pennington. Hey, at least Jet fans were happy about that hit. And fine, Smith only had like 2 sacks last season, but he was injured and it was a fluke, just like Alex Smith, or Frank Gore, or all of the Niner roster. The 2 seasons before, he had 16 sacks each, so like Isaac Bruce, we want the older version of Justin Smith. If it works out, linebacker Patrick Willis and Justin Smith could be a good combo on the 49ers defense. So Justin Smith, please bring out the fierce in you for the 49ers.
So with these two acquisitions, it sounds like the 49ers are looking for these veterans to get back on track like they used to when they were younger. Man, that sounds so much like the San Francisco Giants bringing in veterans around Barry Bonds to try to win it all, and we all know how that turned out. What is up with San Francisco? We are playing in the NFL here, not this:
"Though I wouldn't mind if they brought this back."OK, OK, let's be optimistic and patient here. Let's hope that the 49ers will be able to turn their season around with these player acquisitions who may or may not be past their prime. Let's just be patient and wait over half a year to see what else the 49ers can do to improve their roster. If we want some football action, let's just stick with our San Jose Sabercats in the Arena Football League right now. They're actually not that bad, being in the league for the 13th season with 3 championships, the most recent being this past year. So before we say "Go Niners!" in the NFL, let's root for our wonderful Sabercats and "Meow!"
God Bay Area football sucks right now.From Around the Blogs:
Australian Cheaty McCheater [Dave's Football Blog]
Kevin Johnson and the Sactown mayor race [The Sports Hernia]
Lebron is no Kobe [YAY Sports]
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