When Kyle Kendrick Really Gets Shipped to Japan, It Won't Be So Funny

"Fuck me."

With baseball season around the corner, we’ve noticed that there has been a lack of baseball posts from us writers. However, never fear, because baseball season is here (50 cent eat your heart out, on second thought, please don’t shoot me.) Expect to see some sexy hot MLB spring training previews on all the clubs that occupy the greater California region (and not the shitty ones like Eureka). To kick off the glorious 2008 training, we decided to talk about what everyone else is talking about. No, not steroids, rookie pranks! Though not specifically related to California, a prank like this only comes up once in a while.

The premise: Phillies rookie Kyle Kendrick believes he has been traded to Japan. Basically, Kendrick walks into the office of manager Charlie Manuel’s office and is informed that he has been traded to Japan for one Kobayashi Iwamura. It was well staged too. There was media asking Kendrick questions on his reaction. Naturally, the ball player asked if there was good food in Japan. And steroids (I know, I’m beating a dead horse).

The ruse was all over when prank conjurer Brett Myers came in and announced he had been punked. Hilarious. Myers then proceeded to show Kendrick the right way to tell a reporter that he/she is a “fucking idiot” and a “retard.” Okay, that didn’t really happened, but I’m sure it will eventually.

Even though the prank is all fun and games, the REAL funny part is going to be when Kendrick actually does gets shipped off somewhere else, either Japan or the minors. I can only imagine the situation:

Charlie Manuel: Hey Kyle, have a seat.

Kendrick: Sure thing, what’s up boss?

Manuel: I got some bad news for you son, you’re going to be sent off to Japan for one Hideo Matsuzaki.

Kendrick: Haha, good one coach.

Manuel: No, I’m serious this time.

Kendrick: Haha, okay coach sure. You can drop the act now.

Manuel: There is no act.

Kendrick then realizes he actually is going to be traded.

Kendrick: What?!?!?!

Manuel: Sorry son.

Kendrick: …Man, fuck this team then! You’re a fucking idiot-retard Manuel!

Awkward silence.

Manuel: Um yeah...., ummm....., so how about them Eagles?

Told you he would eventually learn that one! He wouldn’t even need to be told he was going to Japan to get that mad, someone would just tell him he’s being traded to the Giants.

Well, now that pranks have come and gone, baseball season is ready to start, so keep your eyes peeled on some baseball posts coming soon.