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Sunday, February 10, 2008

So You're Saying I'm Not Playing In the Pro Bowl Today?

"Man, and I was ready to show Brett and Romo that I can play with the big boys!"

I'm not playing today? Really, c'mon coach McCarthy, can't you see I'm Pro Bowl material? I mean, I think my stats earned me a spot on the team. Right?

So what if I threw more interceptions than touchdowns during the season? Who doesn't once in a while? I'm only human, okay man. Plus, I was hurt. I mean, imagine if you had to do your job with an injury. I don't think you'd be at 100 percent. You probably wouldn't get those invoices typed so fast with a broken index finger, now would you? Give me a break, okay?

So that means I get to play today, right guys? If I wasn’t injured, I would have totally broken some records. You guys would be asking yourself, Tom who? Or more like you’d be asking yourself, why is Alex Smith so awesome?

No? I still don’t get to play? The injury excuse wasn’t good enough. Well how about the fact that my receivers aren’t very good? Will that get me to Hawaii? Tom Brady and Peyton Manning, they have guys like Randy Moss and Reggie Wayne to throw to. Who do I have? Darrell Jackson? That guy drops passes as often as Wade Phillips eats hot dogs. And that’s pretty often. Ashley Lelie? I always get him confused with this one girl I hooked up with down on the Mission. Arnaz Battle? Try not playing like shit once in a while. Jason Hill? I didn't even know you existed until today.

With receivers like that, I should get an automatic spot in Hawaii.

Still no? Aww man, then what am I going to do with this plane ticket I just bought on Cheapoair.com? What, you mean Pro Bowlers don’t have to pay for their own plane ticket? The NFL spots them on it? No body told me! Man, I just wasted like 400 bucks.

Can’t I just get one snap or something? I mean I got the ticket and I even got my helmet shipped over by Fed Ex. I even ordered a cake that says “Congratulations Alex!” Still no? Really?

Really?!?!?Sigh............... *plays Eric Clapton - Tears in Heaven in the background*

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