Obviously the biggest news of the week in the California sports worlds is the arrival of Joe Torre. He’ll be trading his New York crassness with Los Angeles snootiness. Thus, in honor of this celebration, The Play in Ca is going to present a special two day, weekend special covering this momentous event.
When I first thought about it, Torre coming to Los Angeles kind of reminded me of that scene in “Welcome to the Jungle” where Axl Rose gets off the bus as a naïve Indiana boy and leaves as a bad ass and enough hairspray in his hair to kill 75 percent of the ozone layer. Al Gore would have shat in his pants. The only difference between Joe and Axl is that Joe isn’t a douchebag and doesn’t spend his time getting beaten up by Tommy Hilfiger. If anything, Joe would have been Slash, because Slash is just cool like that.
However, upon further review, his situation more or less reminded me of the guys from Nip Tuck. In Nip Tuck, the guys make the move from Miami to Los Angeles, setting their eyes on fixing up stars who wish to relive their illustrious past. In this case, those stars are the Los Angeles Dodgers. Joe’s here to give the team a facelift, in the theoretical sense, maybe literal. Also, he has the personality that resembles the stars of the show. He’s like hybrid of the two. He tries to keep it a little moral like Dr. McNamara, but isn’t against four ways with Los Angeles’s hottest. (Okay, I have no fact to back up the last statement, but the man is only human).
In fact Los Angeles is right up Joe’s alley. He’s moving from big city to big city. The only difference is instead of being around “Old Money” people who occasionally has a line of coke or two; he’s around Hollywood stars who occasionally do lines of coke. Only now he has to deal with fake liberalism, party girls, and an occasional awkward Pauly Shore run in.
This made me think once he starts schmoozing with Hollywood’s finest, he could actually use his celebrity to get some parts in a movie or T.V. show. But what parts could he play? Well, lucky for you, I took the liberty of naming some roles perfect for Mr. Torre. Enjoy! And get ready for part 2 tomorrow:
Michael Scott – The Office
Stanley Hudson (White version) – The Office
Tony D’Amato – Any Given Sunday
John Locke – Lost
Tom Booker – The Horse Whisperer
Coach Klein – The Waterboy
Lou Brown – Major League
Randy Marsh – South Park in the episode “The Losing Edge”
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